Is it normal i kinda need to die before 40 so my son can get paid

Let me explain, when my son was born I took a huge life insurance policy on myself. However the reason I can afford such a high pay out rate is the fact that my policy will expire when I turn 40 years old. Now please be aware I am not the suicidal type or any of that noise I just am not afraid of dying and see it more as the easiest part of life. So please take that into account.

My son is 3 years old and im a few years from 30. So I guess is it normal that im hoping that I kick the bucket before 40 so my son can have a better life. Just before anyone says “Well having a father around is more precious ect ect” Please be aware…



Im a massive dick!. I also do not apologise for being so. If I turn 40 the rate for paying for further insurance is tenfold and not in the question (Unless I somehow were in a position where I could afford the payments)



So all in all does anyone understand this way of thinking? Or am I just nuts?...





… Ok I’m nuts but does anyone agree with the whole live versus death multiplied by a lot of freaking cash. He would be set and could start business and buy a house, car and all that other successful people shit.

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Comments ( 30 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • Your plan is stupid as fuck. Here's why.

    a) you have too much life insurance. The money you are spending on excess insurance could be going to enrichment activities for your son to become more intelligent, culturally smart, and successful.

    b) insurance won't pay for suicides. You will have to make your death look accidental beyond a reasonable doubt.

    c) your kid will piss the money away on hookers and cocaine because of point d).

    d) you need to be around to teach the kid personal finance, how to invest, how to start a business, and how to avoid financial pitfalls. This is all stuff he will be ready to learn when you are 40.

    e) go work on your own retirement plan. Keep good notes so you can teach your kid how to do it.

    f) stay away from cocaine and hookers. That stuff is only for massive dicks.

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    • I like C & D. They are so true.

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    • "You will have to make your death look accidental beyond a reasonable doubt."

      Surely that's not too difficult. Driving late at night for a valid reason on a high-speed road and sudden head-on encounter with solid barrier.

      Of course, insurance companies are greedy bastards who look for any excuse not to pay out, and I assume these days one of the routine things they do is scour the internet for evidence that the death was deliberate. OP may believe that his post here is anonymous, but if a company or individual is truly motivated to track down all internet activity by someone...

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      • Just to state, suicide was never an option. I am fully aware of what is stipulated in the contract I signed. Thank you for the ideas though. I love the one with the car head on collision!

        Sounds epic.


        Nah im going to die from something like alcohol poisoning or some shit like that.


        Oh and my insurance covers murder.. Soooo..


        Walk up to a bunch of black london gang members.. Say "Sup" then throw a handful of cum in their faces..


        Problem Solved

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        • If you're going that route, maybe you can kill two birds with one stone: if there's some asshole you really hate, figure out how to provoke him into a murderous rage in such a way that it's certain he'll be convicted of the crime.

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          • I like your style, but i don't have enemies. Anymore anyways.


            But great thought still! Ill keep this in mind.

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    • a) I spend around £10pm on this plan. Its because of the stipulation that it ends when i turn 40 is the whole reason it is so ridiculously cheap. I dont even notice it.

      b) Not suicidal, i am fully aware of the contract that i signed.

      c) Good for him Ill be dead and therefore I hope he has a great time whatever the hell he does with all that cash monies.

      d) No, that little bastard can figure things out himself. He will be a grown man. If he cannot figure shit out then he will need to figure out a way. He wont benefit from me holding his dick. Failure is its own reward. Builds character. Unless it kills you of course.

      e) See D

      f) Hey im supporting independent enterprises. Do more to support your local businesses. Im paying hookers so they can feed their kids. Im a actually such a good person if you look at it from a blind perspective. Just turns out that they suck my dick while im counting up the money is all.




      Gonna get me some of those ham sandwiches.

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      • Hmmmm. Big dick has little dick. The dicks fuck everybody. In the end, everyone eats shit and dies. I like your style; the plan may be smarter than voluntary misery from abstinence of all pleasure.

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  • Some people shouldn't breed.

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  • Wont it be better to die naturally as an old man? Your son will still end up having the buisness you dream of him having because.... first you need to be there for him for his future and help him be the man you want him to be, and secondly as he grows the money starts getting bigger as you live (The longer you live the more money you get, right?) but anyways if you gave someone a better life and happiness was given by money would you prefer to be remembered as a man with lots of money or a man remembered with a great heart and skills to teach a son for a better life?

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    • Ok so to start, hats off the most constructive, reasonable and well-versed argument on this thread. Ill try to address this one as best I can.

      Natural death and an old man – Yes makes sense cannot argue that it would indeed be better. There is no argument I can make.

      Being there for my son so he can have better future – No (Although it makes sense and I get where you are coming from) You need to understand that I am just really not a good human to learn from. I mean I would intentionally corrupt him to think like me.. this is why I must snuff it before he reaches adulthood) I assure you his chances for success will increase. Well unless he becomes a crack addict or something of which then he is a retard.. just like papa.

      The longer you live the more money you have – No, unfortunately this is untrue unless you have savings. I also don’t actually care about money in the same way as most people. The main reason for leaving my son a small fortune is so he can have some fun and/or become successful and all that positive stuff. Either way I will be dead so.. meh! Also I don’t care if he is happy. If he is alive then bada bing! He wins.

      Lastly, i’ve requested that on my gravestone it simply reads “This guy was a dick”


      Satis

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      • Can I ask.. why you want to die??
        Heres a reminder; Theres nothing out there once you die but you've got everything around you when you are alive. Its better to be surrounded by everything than being alone.

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        • Its not about wanting to die, I mean I know there are people who fear the finality of death. However, given the fortune he will inherit and the fact that im not a good person at all. I just figured hey why not!

          Besides if I do not die before im 40, that little bastard will get whatever I have when I die instead and I can assure you that it won't be more than 100K overall. I don't own my own home so that is out of the question. I mean im in no rush to die. Just need to in order for my boy to be flush with cash. He could do anything with it be that positive or negative. Either way he will have access to opportunities not afforded to the poor. If he chooses to capitalise or capitulate is down to himself.


          Also death to me is peaceful and final so there is no fear or regret in my mind.

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  • How are you going to die? If you commit suicide, the insurance won't pay.

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    • No I know. However my policy covers murder sooo...


      Walk around the "hood" Singing "All these bitches round herr, niggas all looking really queer" Then when they come up to confront me i spit on their shoes.


      Job Done

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  • NO you robot message im fine. Im not suicidal. However.. If you happen to have a bunch of cocaine and strippers?!

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  • It's just bad for your son. Even if you're a huge dick you obviously care about your son, if for nothing else you can right the flaws in his character.

    >Dad kills himself
    >Inherent a shit load of money at a young age
    >Lacking guidance and parental figure

    Ye that's probably not going to end well

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  • I. Can. Not.






    Thank you for asking.

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  • What would it take for you to put me in your life insurance?

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  • Why'd you have kids if you don't feel like a fit parent?

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    • One simple reason. Pass on the bloodline. Good thing i had a son though because of course tradition dictated first born sons carry the name. If I had a daughter i would have to have kept trying.


      I know its not much consolation but.. im actually pro life so abortions are out of the question. Im an asshole. Not a murderer.


      Just hope the gays dont get to my boy though... Then my plan is fucked.

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      • What does being anti choice have to do with not being a murderer? That makes no sense whatsoever.

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  • So your son can have a better life? I take it you've never lost a parent? I would do absolutely anything if it meant spending one more day with my mum. This is ridiculous. Pull your head out.

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    • Why with all the assumptions. I've buried both parents and my second son. So what is your point?




      I just don't let these things control my emotions like some sort of pussy.


      Hey so you say you would do anything to spend another day with your dead mother?. Well if she is buried grab a fucking shovel then and stop bitching. Problem solved.




      My head is fine where it is thanking you.

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