Is it normal i kinda need to die before 40 so my son can get paid

Let me explain, when my son was born I took a huge life insurance policy on myself. However the reason I can afford such a high pay out rate is the fact that my policy will expire when I turn 40 years old. Now please be aware I am not the suicidal type or any of that noise I just am not afraid of dying and see it more as the easiest part of life. So please take that into account.

My son is 3 years old and im a few years from 30. So I guess is it normal that im hoping that I kick the bucket before 40 so my son can have a better life. Just before anyone says “Well having a father around is more precious ect ect” Please be aware…



Im a massive dick!. I also do not apologise for being so. If I turn 40 the rate for paying for further insurance is tenfold and not in the question (Unless I somehow were in a position where I could afford the payments)



So all in all does anyone understand this way of thinking? Or am I just nuts?...





… Ok I’m nuts but does anyone agree with the whole live versus death multiplied by a lot of freaking cash. He would be set and could start business and buy a house, car and all that other successful people shit.

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Comments ( 37 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • Your plan is stupid as fuck. Here's why.

    a) you have too much life insurance. The money you are spending on excess insurance could be going to enrichment activities for your son to become more intelligent, culturally smart, and successful.

    b) insurance won't pay for suicides. You will have to make your death look accidental beyond a reasonable doubt.

    c) your kid will piss the money away on hookers and cocaine because of point d).

    d) you need to be around to teach the kid personal finance, how to invest, how to start a business, and how to avoid financial pitfalls. This is all stuff he will be ready to learn when you are 40.

    e) go work on your own retirement plan. Keep good notes so you can teach your kid how to do it.

    f) stay away from cocaine and hookers. That stuff is only for massive dicks.

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    • I like C & D. They are so true.

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    • "You will have to make your death look accidental beyond a reasonable doubt."

      Surely that's not too difficult. Driving late at night for a valid reason on a high-speed road and sudden head-on encounter with solid barrier.

      Of course, insurance companies are greedy bastards who look for any excuse not to pay out, and I assume these days one of the routine things they do is scour the internet for evidence that the death was deliberate. OP may believe that his post here is anonymous, but if a company or individual is truly motivated to track down all internet activity by someone...

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      • Just to state, suicide was never an option. I am fully aware of what is stipulated in the contract I signed. Thank you for the ideas though. I love the one with the car head on collision!

        Sounds epic.


        Nah im going to die from something like alcohol poisoning or some shit like that.


        Oh and my insurance covers murder.. Soooo..


        Walk up to a bunch of black london gang members.. Say "Sup" then throw a handful of cum in their faces..


        Problem Solved

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        • If you're going that route, maybe you can kill two birds with one stone: if there's some asshole you really hate, figure out how to provoke him into a murderous rage in such a way that it's certain he'll be convicted of the crime.

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          • I like your style, but i don't have enemies. Anymore anyways.


            But great thought still! Ill keep this in mind.

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    • a) I spend around £10pm on this plan. Its because of the stipulation that it ends when i turn 40 is the whole reason it is so ridiculously cheap. I dont even notice it.

      b) Not suicidal, i am fully aware of the contract that i signed.

      c) Good for him Ill be dead and therefore I hope he has a great time whatever the hell he does with all that cash monies.

      d) No, that little bastard can figure things out himself. He will be a grown man. If he cannot figure shit out then he will need to figure out a way. He wont benefit from me holding his dick. Failure is its own reward. Builds character. Unless it kills you of course.

      e) See D

      f) Hey im supporting independent enterprises. Do more to support your local businesses. Im paying hookers so they can feed their kids. Im a actually such a good person if you look at it from a blind perspective. Just turns out that they suck my dick while im counting up the money is all.




      Gonna get me some of those ham sandwiches.

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      • Hmmmm. Big dick has little dick. The dicks fuck everybody. In the end, everyone eats shit and dies. I like your style; the plan may be smarter than voluntary misery from abstinence of all pleasure.

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      • A million times out of ten, hookers don’t have children.

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        • .. Wait what?


          So, what about all those single stripper moms? I mean its a pretty common stereotype.

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  • Some people shouldn't breed.

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  • Coming from a man who was a kid with a giant dick for a father, id say have at it buddy. Just dont do anything to void the policy for the kid, and make sure he is in good hands (PoS dad usually means PoS mom). And make sure you get as far away from him as soon as possible (preferably before he can remember you, or you can do anything to make his life worse than you are already trying to). Leave the state, or better yet country. So start chiefing cigarettes (no filter) and whiskey now, and cross your fingers. Or better yet man the fuck up and raise your son. Its your fault that he was born on this planet, so why not make it the best that you can for him. Because you're a dick. So stop being one? You dont make enough money to pay for the insurance after you turn 40. So drop it? get a better job? start saving for your son to have a better life than you did? You arent thinking about your son here, youre just being a fucking idiot. I grew up with my mom (who worked at a grocery store), and my 4 sisters, and you want to know what the hardest part was? not the fact that i had to get a job when i was 11, or wearing clothes that didnt fit me, or that i had to sew back together myself, or seeing my mom bruised and bloody and not knowing what to do about it or how to help. It was not having a father around to teach me how to be a man. Sure it felt great being the man of the house, and taking care of all the "manly" work when i was a kid, but it turned me into an angry, bitter, hateful person. Luckily i found my way out of it. Who's to say your son would though? If you're willing to take that chance, then fuck it go all out. Just dont think your son, or anyone else will ever love you for it.

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    • Very well said and I appreciate your candour. I will not go into detail as to what I have gone though to get to this point of thinking. However, I appreciate every single one of the hardships life has thrown at me, since it has hardened me to things that weaken a man such as pity, fear and cowardice (just my opinion of course). I do not complain about such things or use that to justify who I am as a person or why I do what I do.

      Just to state, I do not intend to run anywhere. This is not me trying to kill myself or some such bullshit. I will raise him for as long as I breath. Simply put, my policy runs out when I turn 40. I do not see it as giving up however I see it as what it literally is. Insurance, assurance in the case of death. It is a fantastic policy simply just because of the stipulation that it will run out when I’m 40.

      My son will be a grown man by then and he will be expected to take over the family.

      Now to confirm, I most likely will not die before the policy runs out. I have many more years to try and make more money and progress in life and all that positive shit. I will hopefully be able to renew the policy (at an very exorbitant rate) but this is highly unlikely unless I make more than £60,000 a month. I try to look at the big picture, he would inherit enough to retire young if that is what he so wishes. Just to state, my son is privileged, maybe not by the empathy of the father so much. However, he has not wanted for anything so far. His mother receives a lot of money to care for him and to relay, she is a saint.

      He is and will be in good hands. I have a big family that watches over him. He has uncles and aunts that will take care of him if I kick it tomorrow, and I have loyal and trustworthy people who will manage my money when I am gone. Also, my will is rock solid and covers any incidence of disloyalty that will allow my son to sue any traitor to my will with ease.

      I understand full well why you may think that I am not thinking about my son, you are entitled to call me whatever you wish. I will tell you however that my son is my future, he is my focus and I will never abandon him even in death. My will is done, and he will either obey or not. Either way, he insofar has had a great life. I am indeed making a bet against my own health. I understand. However, people die and love is almost irrelevant to me at this point. The best thing is that my boy is alive and happy.

      For now at least.

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  • Wont it be better to die naturally as an old man? Your son will still end up having the buisness you dream of him having because.... first you need to be there for him for his future and help him be the man you want him to be, and secondly as he grows the money starts getting bigger as you live (The longer you live the more money you get, right?) but anyways if you gave someone a better life and happiness was given by money would you prefer to be remembered as a man with lots of money or a man remembered with a great heart and skills to teach a son for a better life?

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    • Ok so to start, hats off the most constructive, reasonable and well-versed argument on this thread. Ill try to address this one as best I can.

      Natural death and an old man – Yes makes sense cannot argue that it would indeed be better. There is no argument I can make.

      Being there for my son so he can have better future – No (Although it makes sense and I get where you are coming from) You need to understand that I am just really not a good human to learn from. I mean I would intentionally corrupt him to think like me.. this is why I must snuff it before he reaches adulthood) I assure you his chances for success will increase. Well unless he becomes a crack addict or something of which then he is a retard.. just like papa.

      The longer you live the more money you have – No, unfortunately this is untrue unless you have savings. I also don’t actually care about money in the same way as most people. The main reason for leaving my son a small fortune is so he can have some fun and/or become successful and all that positive stuff. Either way I will be dead so.. meh! Also I don’t care if he is happy. If he is alive then bada bing! He wins.

      Lastly, i’ve requested that on my gravestone it simply reads “This guy was a dick”


      Satis

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      • Can I ask.. why you want to die??
        Heres a reminder; Theres nothing out there once you die but you've got everything around you when you are alive. Its better to be surrounded by everything than being alone.

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        • Its not about wanting to die, I mean I know there are people who fear the finality of death. However, given the fortune he will inherit and the fact that im not a good person at all. I just figured hey why not!

          Besides if I do not die before im 40, that little bastard will get whatever I have when I die instead and I can assure you that it won't be more than 100K overall. I don't own my own home so that is out of the question. I mean im in no rush to die. Just need to in order for my boy to be flush with cash. He could do anything with it be that positive or negative. Either way he will have access to opportunities not afforded to the poor. If he chooses to capitalise or capitulate is down to himself.


          Also death to me is peaceful and final so there is no fear or regret in my mind.

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  • How are you going to die? If you commit suicide, the insurance won't pay.

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    • No I know. However my policy covers murder sooo...


      Walk around the "hood" Singing "All these bitches round herr, niggas all looking really queer" Then when they come up to confront me i spit on their shoes.


      Job Done

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  • NO you robot message im fine. Im not suicidal. However.. If you happen to have a bunch of cocaine and strippers?!

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  • Your observation is covered by point f). Actually, he will overdose on cocaine after spending money secured from credit against his life insurance. By then, the kid will be a gay hooker to get money for food stamps.

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  • This is not normal.

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  • It's just bad for your son. Even if you're a huge dick you obviously care about your son, if for nothing else you can right the flaws in his character.

    >Dad kills himself
    >Inherent a shit load of money at a young age
    >Lacking guidance and parental figure

    Ye that's probably not going to end well

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  • I. Can. Not.






    Thank you for asking.

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  • What would it take for you to put me in your life insurance?

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  • Why'd you have kids if you don't feel like a fit parent?

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    • One simple reason. Pass on the bloodline. Good thing i had a son though because of course tradition dictated first born sons carry the name. If I had a daughter i would have to have kept trying.


      I know its not much consolation but.. im actually pro life so abortions are out of the question. Im an asshole. Not a murderer.


      Just hope the gays dont get to my boy though... Then my plan is fucked.

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      • What does being anti choice have to do with not being a murderer? That makes no sense whatsoever.

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  • So your son can have a better life? I take it you've never lost a parent? I would do absolutely anything if it meant spending one more day with my mum. This is ridiculous. Pull your head out.

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    • Why with all the assumptions. I've buried both parents and my second son. So what is your point?




      I just don't let these things control my emotions like some sort of pussy.


      Hey so you say you would do anything to spend another day with your dead mother?. Well if she is buried grab a fucking shovel then and stop bitching. Problem solved.




      My head is fine where it is thanking you.

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