Is it normal i hate being autistic
I am autistic and I live very isolated and I am depressed because of it. I got diagnosed as an adult so I have lost years of my life which couldve been used working on my issues. No one did anything, probably because im a girl and girls dont get diagnosed, even though I was so stressed out and high anxiety in school from 6 years old and onwards that I was unable to speak in school. People found it annoying and very puzzling but nothing was done. Threats were made that I better socialize and fit in with my peers or else they might put me in special ed with the retards and troubled kids. They pushed me on the other girls causing them to act cruel to me since I didnt talk to them I just followed them around against my will to appease the adults because I was scared. Thanks to that I have terrible anxiety now.
I am poor because I cannot work. They need to figure out my abilities, I am not allowed to work until they have.
I was granted money from social services but its not much. It barely makes a difference. I feel that life is useless because there is nothing I want to do that I am capable of doing. Maybe with more therapy that can change but I have no hope. I hate the online autism community for celebrating this disability, dumb fucks. It is not quirky and cute, if it was it wouldn't get diagnosed. It is a disability which is ruining my life by making me incapable of connecting to people, working normally, being as independant as I want and giving me terrible migraines whenever I get overloaded by sounds or if the light outside is too bright. The online community is so full of shit. Either they are ~self diagnosed~ which is not valid by the way, or they must have low intelligence so they don't even notice how dibiliating it is. It's just the truth. Disabilities are nothing celebrate.