Is it normal i feel my dad doesn't respect my choices

93% Normal
25 Comments

So recently I flew out of the country and left my car at the airport. So it is cheaper I asked my dad to email his friend who lives near to pick up the car.

My dad did this and included me in the email, which also contained an earlier message he had sent to his friend.

In this he described the status of me, my mom, and 2 sisters. For me he said I am 'actively pursuing a career as a DJ. He has some evenings and is looking to expand-living with us currently'.

I work very hard, got hired with no club experience and worked my way into 2 weekly nights one that was a weekend, 1 big monthly one, and there go to person to fill in, also special events New Year's, private party. I was working more than any other DJ in the club.

Why didn't he just say I was working as a DJ?

Am I overreacting and projecting my own insecurity?

My dad came to me after having a convo with my mom and encouraged me to look for more work doing something different. Many many times I have told him things I would like to do and he always has a reason to say not to do it.

I get so mad when I think about this and feel like I don't want to have contact with him.

I try so hard not to care at all what my parents say or think, but I think that I de-realize and cut off from my feelings when I read an email like this which is even worse.

I don't know how to process pain, self validate or get better at doing these things. I want to learn more than anything, as being self conscious is a viscious trap and I want to be rid of it.

Voting Results
93% Normal
Based on 14 votes (13 yes)
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Comments ( 25 )
  • TherealfuckingDiehl
    6 years ago

    Make your own path in life

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  • SmokeEverything
    6 years ago

    Many people consider any job outside of a 9 to 5 to be not a real job. Youll make yourself miserable trying to make others happy

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  • Knightmare
    6 years ago

    Your life is your story. Take that pencil away from them and write your own story.

    They may be able to help, but there's a point where it's just useless.

    You can do this. You already got a job, why is he saying your still pursuing? Prove to him that you've got something already.

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  • yasss
    6 years ago

    Fuck em all, do what you want, it's your life. Good luck!

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    • rayb12
      6 years ago

      Gracias amigo

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  • [Old Memory]
    6 years ago

    Your Dad wants what is best for you. In his eyes (and the majority of people's eyes) being a DJ is so douchey. He most likely wants you to find something that is more reliable and grown up for employment. Go to school.

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    • SmokeEverything
      6 years ago

      Why would the op go to school when they already have a job they enjoy

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      • [Old Memory]
        6 years ago

        You can't be a douche bag DJ forever. Eventually he will need a real job. At that time he will have to settle for a menial job that doesn't pay well. He won't be able to get a better education because he'll be stuck working for nothing all of the time.

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        • SmokeEverything
          6 years ago

          Djs make good money if theyre good at it and get decent gigs

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          • [Old Memory]
            6 years ago

            Maybe a few douche bags do...but not a lot. It also isn't long lasting or steady,no matter what you hear

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            • rayb12
              6 years ago

              It's true I was such a good person, but whenever I play a song I become a rude and terrible douchebag, something about the vibrations when you're so close to speakers effects the way your body produces hormones. In a similar way you begin to mutate genetically and it becomes visible to employers how long you work, once you have for 10 years no one will hire you because you become a liability for spreading douchebagitis

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    • rayb12
      6 years ago

      That's ok, no thankyou.

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  • bubsy
    6 years ago

    You're insecure about living with your parents. You also need to stop getting all your validation from others; it's what makes you so sensitive.

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    • rayb12
      6 years ago

      Yes, ok so I moved out 3 months ago, but now as I said in the post I would like more than anything to do the second part, but would like help figuring out how.

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      • bubsy
        6 years ago

        By making constant, daily progress to reach your goals is the best way to build that self-validation. Essentially, you need to feel more in control of where your life is heading.

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        • rayb12
          6 years ago

          Gracias

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  • Murun
    6 years ago

    "Actively pursuing" sounds like decent praise to me, as dad praise goes!

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    • rayb12
      6 years ago

      Ah ok, you see all different perspectives are helpful

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  • rayb12
    6 years ago

    I started traveling recently and it has been difficult to express myself here I am really intrigued but don't know how expressive I can be. I am worried about misstepping and don't know what is ok here. I would like to be able to say whatever I want even though I typically avoid conflict even too much and avoid subjects I feel may offend people for the most part. It isn't even that though more just my emotions back home I had guitar and pen and paper at least. I think I will try to find and buy a small notepad tomorrow so I can do that. Having a plan would be better too even if I don't follow it I'd like somewhat more of a plan.i don't speak the language here which requires extreme patience. I was also traveling before I started traveling here, but before I was in a car which I was also using to sleep and store food and water so it let me be very independent I could go a week even or more without seeing other people if I ever desired. It was much more expensive and. Was in my own country but felt very adventurous to drive aimlessly for hours. Here it is the hostels lots of other travelers site seeing all the things I would never do in my country soon I will continue in and move a bit further away from the pulse. Too much is difficult. I am also unsure of the safety in general. I know I am not as happy as before and I become self conscious as I don't want to meet people if I'm not in a very good mood, because others like happy people and I like to be liked. I need to learn to deal better with being disliked so it doesn't get to me or shape my opinion of myself I also need to jerk off more as I've been hitting on women online maybe gratuitously. I forgot to even bring up what I intended to write about but maybe will tomorrow

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  • xoxRose
    6 years ago

    I feel like your dad should respect and accept your life choices and maybe you should let him know how you feel as well so you can work it out together.

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