Is it normal i don’t want to get married or have children?

Sometimes I do wonder what it’d be like to have kids, but whenever I think about it I realize that I’m only just imagining one possibility, and in reality it could be totally different. I’m the youngest in a family with two older sisters and a single mom, and if I’m going to be brutally honest my mom is pretty pessimistic and my sisters seem to argue with her a lot. It’s not like we’re dysfunctional but my sisters really can get annoying at times, and I have anger issues so it’s good that I’m able to control it because I could easily imagine a violent person getting frustrated with them. There’s good aspects to them, don’t get me wrong, but in all honesty it seems like being a parent has done way more harm than good to my mom. I like being alone, and only after an extended period of time would I feel loneliness, but I think the best life possible for me is not having a wife or kid. I never had experience taking care of anything, the closest was my dog, but I get the feeling I’d be too easy to anger and too unsure of myself for a family. I’m only 19 so I still have a lot of time, but by the looks of things I highly doubt a wife and kids are in my future!

Is It Normal?
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  • As you say, you're still pretty young. My experience is that life throws all sorts of curve-balls and it's never a great idea to rule anything out completely since that means you're limiting your options.

    However, I definitely think you're wise to put any thoughts about having kids way down your list of priorities for the time being. You're right that being a parent is a huge commitment. Once you have a kid, your life is completely transformed and you're stuck with them - for good and ill - for the rest of your life. Children are expensive and they can consume a huge amount of time and energy, particularly for the first few years. A responsible parent accepts that their life has to revolve around the child, and although the orbital distance increases as the kid grows up, even when they are an adult they are still a part of you and never far from your thoughts.

    Being responsible for the care and upbringing of another human being in no way compares with having a dog or any other pet.

    There's no way to truly understand what being a parent is like until you become one. Some non-parents believe they understand, but they don't.

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  • XD My parents will kill me if they know that I don't want to get married & have kids

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  • Marriage/kids are one option of what you could do with your life, it's also the most boring vanilla one out there. Society portrays it as the "right" thing to do because it locks you into a cycle of consumerism and 9-to-5 work days.

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  • Marriage and family are traditional values of the society. Why do they exist? Because they make the society strong. The point of having a family and a close marriage with no adultery is to make individuals responsible and mature, and the society strong and healthy. A society where these values are rejected is a weak and divided one, thus much easier to conquer and destroy.

    As a living proof, multiculturalism, admitted by its own promoters (Merkel, Cameron, Sarkozy) to have failed, demonstrates how easily other nations (particularly arabs) managed to obtain the power in many places (lots of muslim mayors in the UK), countless terror attacks, because these people strongly believe in their own traditional values that keep them strong, while the Western Europe is weak and rejects all these values.

    This is just one example, but the weakness of a society can be dangerous in many ways, and the point of these traditions is to avoid this.

    Of course, your choice can be justified and you should be free to make it, but keep in mind that if sufficiently many people reject these views, you are endangered and will have to face consequences and bear the risks.

    I am not telling you what to do, I am just telling you why it is considered normal for a society to promote marriage and family, as this was your question.

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    • Interesting, but I don’t think one person (myself) not going through with marriage and children will change much.

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      • Indeed, but you doing this will convince other people to think in the same way, since many people would avoid this huge responsibility. In the long run, we end up being replaced and destroyed. Which happens already in Europe. America is next if they adopt the same mentality.

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  • Yes it's normal, Robin.

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  • there is no reason to marry if you are not having children thats why 90 percent of gay men never marry 2018

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  • Lots of couples opt out of having kids because it would cramp their lifestyle. I get that. But at some point you will meet someone you want as a life mate. Or not.

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  • To thine own self be true.

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  • Most people don't think about it that hard. I don't like kids yet I have 3. I have had a few abortions too. Good for you if you think you know how your life will turn out, with or without kids.

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  • So don't. You don't have to.

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  • i think you are right and no one knows you better

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