Is it normal i am a christian who wishes to veil in my own way?

I am Christian Quaker. We aren't Mennonites/Amish but we get confused for them occasionally because several of us choose plain dress.
I was raised by a mixture of Lutherans and Wiccans (my great-grandma and her rebellious granddaughter, my mom). I grew up in the United States, where head coverings for women were stigmatized as anti-woman and sexist. Mostly these referred to Muslim veils, and I came to the realization Americans do not understand veiling is Christian as well. I even had a long drawn out argument with a man IRL because I had to explain to him a group of women were Orthodox Christians and NOT Muslim.
I also learned my choice to veil was automatically mocked and I had to explain to my ironically feminist family it's just as sexist to take the right away just as it is to enforce women ALWAYS cover.
I don't wear a Quaker cap, but I do keep my hair covered in a scarf, usually blue. I pray for unity of Abrahamic women (and humanity in general) and feel this tradition is my physical representation of this unity I pray for and my connection to Mary.
I'm just a bit shocked by my family's reaction. They automatically accused me of conforming to some sort of patriarchal ideal, when it's my choice in bodily autonomy. I guess it's just part of growing up and realizing your family will only support you up to a certain point.

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 12 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • Having a choice means not everyone is going to choose to live the same way. There's nothing wrong with what you are doing and it's not in any way harmful to anyone so your family needs to accept it. Just tell them it's your way of honoring God.

    I hope things work out for you.

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  • If you have been raised a certain way and then start going against that, it will make waves within your family. This is fine. Usually they will get used to it and reluctantly accept your choices. Occassionally they might not get used to it and end up making you choose between them and your lifestyle.

    Either way, it's fine to do things your own way. That's what growing up is all about. Hopefully your family will come around. If not, then maybe they aren't worth having around anyway.

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  • The Society of Friends, as I am sure you are aware, allows a wide range of options on what you actually believe in what way and how you live your lives.

    I was involved with them for many years; and I do admire them. Real down to earth people, with no one holding their noses up with fake superiority.

    You are free to dress as you like with a veil or not, and I cannot imagine that anyone in the church would cause problems (if the church is functioning properly). You should be able to sit and discuss your beliefs, and get acceptance. Of course, some will politely ask about your choice; which should not upset you.

    I suggest you remind your family to treat them as any other member and allow you the same kind of flexibility.

    I wish you well with this, and peace to you.

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  • I totally support you 💙. Are they the kind of people who calm down once they've come to terms?

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    • Yes. I think they're just confused at the moment. I'm the only one of my specific faith in my family.

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  • seems like wiccan is just code for uber feminist weirdos

    theyre also like vegans & puerto ricans in that they hafta remind you of what they are every 10 minutes

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    • Is it even possible for a person to be excommunicated from the Wiccans?

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      • Apparently! Lol.

        Although to be fair, I wasn't excommunicated. They were more just disappointed.

        My mom believes, in her own way, Jesus was magical.

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  • Women are required to wear veils during the Tridentine Mass. Heretical groups don't tend to like that, though.

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    • I went to one of those with my cousin once and I wore a veil there! All in Latin. Apart from a Pentecostal church I was a member of once, it hasn't been the thing in the churches I've regularly attended to wear a veil (and I move areas a lot).

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    • I've noticed with US Protestants the veil has evolved into the church hat ladies tend to wear.

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