Is it normal for my father to be like this?

22% Normal
7 Comments

I'm sorry if this is kind of chunky and hard to follow but there's a fair amount to say.

My father's the type who is always striving for success - and by that, I mean seeing it as the only acceptable goal. Everything else is unacceptable and insufficient.

I feel like my life is a field full of land mines. One wrong move and he flies into a rage, shouting every single thing I did wrong at my face. Then he somehow connects it to EVERY SINGLE OTHER THING I DID WRONG, turning a conversation about making a little stupid mistake into one about how I'm wasting my life on stupid, worthless shit and my mindset is going to get me killed.

Then I get upset. He instills feelings of uselessness and worthlessness inside of me, and it all overwhelms me and I start crying. He gets even more upset, because APPARENTLY all I do is cry about my problems like a baby instead of trying to succeed. Apparently, I'm just an emotional wimp and this is life and I have to just get over it instead of being a weak bastard idiot.

I've said before that I wouldn't be crying if he hadn't gotten so upset. He puts all the blame on me, saying that it's my fault because I screwed up, and if I actually got my life together we wouldn't be in this situation. He says that him getting upset is apparently "necessary"... just like how him getting upset at my uncle and screaming loud enough that the entire house can hear him is also "necessary".

He sees me as "so fucking embarrassing" just because I'm apparently that incompetent. He's called me his prime source of unhappiness. He's called me a leech that suckers off of other people.

He's all about NOW. Do this NOW. Get this done NOW. Reply to me NOW, even though you can barely talk because you're sobbing and your body's going numb because he's shouting so loud. Answer this question NOW, even though you don't know the answer and you need to think about it.

I've been hit. I've had an ice tea bottle thrown at me. When I was a teenager, he grabbed my neck to try and get me to stop "crying like a little wimp".

He has said before that this is normal. I don't know what "normal" is anymore, so I'm asking for a different perspective on it.

Voting Results
22% Normal
Based on 18 votes (4 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • AmbitiousPrincess
    6 years ago

    Abusive parent. Don't let HIS issues affect your life. If you have to start a life far away from it then please do it. You live once, you deserve it to be happy

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  • poodlenoodle
    6 years ago

    It's normal for a dad to want to scold their kids to help them improve, but the violence definitely isn't. If it gets worse you might want to call the police.

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  • -IS_IT_NORMAL-
    6 years ago

    You father should not have done this to you. It's ok to screw up but your father should learn to forgive and forget, you can't be cruel to your child for screwing up every once in awhile. Above everything he should be proud of you, for only screwing up sometimes. Heck I know a bunch of people that have screwed up plenty of times and got treated the way you did. You are not wasting your life on worthless shit. You'll learn from your mistakes or things that he didn't like and see if you want to do those things. You should be able to be happy. Hell he should show you respect, or else he ain't gunna see you again. Once he's old and needs someone to wipe his ass, and he goes to you for help, he'll be sorry for the way he treated you. Pursue what you wish to do and don't give a fuck about what he says.

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  • KiwiWisdom
    6 years ago

    This is not normal. Being hit is abuse, plain and simple. Being yelled at to your face and insulted is never something a good father should do. This is unfortunately common however. The best thing you can do is work to get yourself away from the situation. It might take time, it might take years, but every step you take is a step forward for yourself. There is a time to heal and there is a time to survive. One day you can separate yourself from him, for the simple fact that his expectations are not you.

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  • RoseIsabella
    6 years ago

    Your father is a narcissistic abuser, and a coward who probably deserving of an ass whooping. Is there any way you can get away from him?

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  • YourNewDom
    6 years ago

    No it's not normal but,
    "When I was a teenager"
    So you're an adult? Move the fuck out. I get this idea that there's more to the story than you let on. If the situation is about you not having a job, pursuit in education, personal drive, willingness to help those who pay the bills by performing work/chores around the house...then yeah, I'd jack you up too.

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  • nikkiclaire
    6 years ago

    I assume you are a guy so yes it is normal. Your dad sounds like a real man and you sound like a girl. He's trying to teach what a man SHOULD be. I know school taught you to be a pussy but dont believe it and grow up to become some fat womans bitch. Learn from your dad and be man.

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