Is it normal for gay men to talk like they’re straight?

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31 Comments

I’ve noticed certain gay men will “turn off” their usual flamboyant voices when speaking to me. For example, my neighbor next door... he’ll be on the phone speaking pretty loudly outside in his effeminite voice. But whenever I walk out there and say “Hey man, what’s up?” He responds “what’s up man?” In a much more masculine voice. I’ve experienced this with a few gay men before...

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88% Normal
Based on 26 votes (23 yes)
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Comments ( 31 )
  • Tealights
    4 years ago

    Basically, your neighbor isn't comfortable around you to be himself and imitating you to feel accepted. Just leave him be, or become his friend by asking for advice on a girlfriend or something.

    I've noticed men do this a lot, which is so interesting to watch. For example, I could be cool with one guy and talking to him like we always do, and when a male acquaintance comes along, suddenly my male friend acts like the acquaintance and doing/saying shit he normally doesn't say. Depending on the friend, and I know I'm such an asshole for this, but I tend to laugh and point that shit out immediately, "Like dude, why you trying so hard to impress Travis. Be yourself guy."

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  • CoffeeTime
    4 years ago

    It means that he's not interested in you.

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  • mauzi
    4 years ago

    It's like some black people (usually in the north of the US). they have a "white" voice and a "black" voice, so phony and cringe.

    looks like the PC police are gaslighting you in this thread

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  • Asatchi
    4 years ago

    There's no such thing as a gay voice or straight voice. Some straight men can be very effeminate and some gay men very masculine. You're stereotyping. I know plenty of very masculine gay men who make straight men look like girls. People have multiple selves that they present to the world depending on the situation. My work self is not the same as my family self. I also behave differently around friends. Straight men don't have a monopoly on masculine behaviours or speech intonations. I know straight men like to think they control the world and call the shots but they don't anymore.

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    • IrishPotato
      4 years ago

      Yes, there is.

      Are you seriously telling me someone saying shit like "Gurlfrieeend, that scarf is just like FAB-U-LOUUUS!" isn't gay as feck?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      4 years ago

      I have masculine and feminine gay friends. But they don’t change their tone when talking to certain people... my question is why do some gay men do that?

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      • Asatchi
        4 years ago

        I change my tone all the time in multiple ways depending who I'm with. I just explained it to you above. People present different selves to the world depending on what's appropriate and also on what makes them feel comfortable. It's perfectly OK to do so.

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  • IrishPotato
    4 years ago

    Personally I find the whole flamboyant act absolutely fucking retarded.

    Stop being so annoying, nobody gives a crap about you being gay.

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  • [Old Memory]
    4 years ago

    I sometimes talk like a queer and I'm strait

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    • Asatchi
      4 years ago

      It's really inappropriate and ignorant for you to use that word in that way and highly doubt you would ever do it if not for the safe anonymity of your computer keyboard. It's equivalent to a white person using the N word in reference to a person of colour. It's derogatory and offensive. There is no "queer" voice so I presume what you actually mean is camp or effeminate. Straight men can also be camp. BTW your spelling and grammar is third grade level.

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      • [Old Memory]
        4 years ago

        I say niger, queer, fag, so on. I couldn't gives fucks if it upsets you. I couldn't give a fuck if I look racist or homophobic! If that upsets you then good, you probably queer.

        My grammar is bad? You mean you figure that from this comment (I sometimes talk like a queer and I'm strait) on IIN. Crying like a queer about spelling on a site like this is the most pathetic thing you could possibly do. Be honest, you don't care about my grammar! Truth is I hurt your feelings, and your comeback is to try an insult me... Its ok! I like it! It shows me that you are upset. I love upsetting pathetic people like you... K

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        • bigbudchonga
          4 years ago

          I agree Stain. He's an sjw who's happy to be offended at anything.

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          • [Old Memory]
            4 years ago

            And the truth is I couldn't care who someone sleeps with or what color you are (I'm a bit dirty on Indians lately though) But I aint gonna walk on egg shells for some bleeding heart telling me how I should spell, use grammar and what words not to use... LOL

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  • SkullsNRoses
    4 years ago

    He thinks you will judge him for being himself.

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  • bigbudchonga
    4 years ago

    The harsh truth is guys respect strength. Effeminacy in men is weakness. He doesn't want to appear weak so he acts less effeminate around you.

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    • Asatchi
      4 years ago

      What is weakness is pathetic wankers like you spreading your toxic ideas about masculinity all over the place. That's the harsh truth pal.

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      • bigbudchonga
        4 years ago

        Your rhetoric is empty. I'm studying a degree in Ancient History and Classical Archaeology, and one of the things that's recurring as to why nations fell is that they dipped into "decadence and effeminacy". You're a product of the times who regurgitates the shit you've been told.

        Not all of us are sheep like you. Not all of us see a trait that has caused the death of nations as a good thing. Go naay with the herd and parrot bullshit you've been told. I'm not buying it.

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        • [Old Memory]
          4 years ago

          Studying a degree doesn't give your comments cred. Just makes your ignorance all the more cringeworthy. Dying breed.

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          • bigbudchonga
            4 years ago

            Thousands of years of history give it credence. At any other time in the world than that last 50 years people have seen it for what it is. It's not my fault people don't think for themselves. If you want to but into the bullshit of the time then go for it, but after reviewing the facts it leads to the death of nations.

            Also your ignorance is astounding. This is ironic as fuck. You're using the word ignorant incorrectly. You're ignorant of the word ignorance...

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              4 years ago

              Can you give an example where feminity gave way to a civilization?

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  • litelander8
    4 years ago

    As a bisexual female, I talk/laugh in MANY different ways. I agree with Asnatchi.

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  • Anonymous Post Author
    4 years ago

    It’s just weird to go completely 180.. one minute you’re all effeminate and then in the next breath you talk like a total bro...

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    • [Old Memory]
      4 years ago

      What someone else was trying to explain, the surface level explanation is that you're noticing a change in someone's frame of mind when their tonality/speech patterns change like that.

      As to your question, that's a subjective observation based on context. You would know best why they might change how they talk. Why would they want to, what would drive them? A few conversations with him and you'll probably find out.

      I could offer one plausible scenario after another, and as much fun as that would be you still wouldn't have the answer.

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  • WeirdGuyFromTheSouth
    4 years ago

    If men like men why do they want a girly sounding man? Ive had gays hit on me and Ive been told by gays they like straight guys... idk whyy they act this way if they like men

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  • Asatchi
    4 years ago

    I love that being gay you're free to be whatever the fuck you wanna be but straight men are so stifled and boxed in. Having to assert their heterosexuality and spewing out their toxic masculinity everywhere they go. It's tragic. I'm so glad I'm queer as all fuck.

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  • leggs91200
    4 years ago

    So for gay men or whoever, what happens when they are in the same room with two people whom they have to act different, say like another gay man and a straight? Do they act swishy or "bro-like"?

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  • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk
    4 years ago

    i thinks the scene in 'blow' is funny where paul reuben is actin all floofy in his hair salon in fronta the gals and they go in the back room to do a drug deal and hes suddenly all bidness

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  • curious-bunny
    4 years ago

    As a trans woman I can tell you my voice changing us cause my mind slipped for whatever reason and I wasn't as focused on my vocals, so on occasion my voice goes deeper. Throws people off as to many I just look like any other girl, I have the girl next door look in told. Anyways so usually it's not something intentional with people it just happens

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    • WeirdGuyFromTheSouth
      4 years ago

      Damn you got double downvoted. Thats brutal...

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      • curious-bunny
        4 years ago

        Yea it is

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