Is it normal for an abuser to copy you?

Any time I have to be around the person who abused me, they mimic/copy everything I do.

This person always wears black shoes, but when I had white tennis shoes on, they had white tennis shoes on the next day. I had also worn a specific brand and color hoodie, and the abuser had on the same thing too.

At get togethers, the abuser will mimic my actions, if I get up then they will too. If I sit down, they sit down. If I pick up a book to read, they will too.

Don't ask why I am faced with being around the abuser, please. I'm only trying to find out if it's normal for an abuser to mimic/copy me... I feel like my mind is being messed with.

In college I dealt with a similar thing. A girl (and I'm a girl too) copied a lot of the things I liked. I made a comment about liking Panera and she said she never had it. I said we can go together. Well a few days later, there were empty Panera bags and containers in her apartment.

I liked a certain sports team, which she didn't watch, and then I noticed she had a mug and blanket with that team on it - she had just bought. Why would she tell me she didn't know these things before, and then suddenly buy them and not tell me? I'm fine with sharing my interests with others, but I thought it was weird she never told me. When I asked about, she called me a "psycho b*tch" for thinking she was copying me and claimed she always liked these things. And then she proceeded to tell the entire college campus that I was a psycho, when I'm not.

Is copying a common form of abuse in these circumstances?

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 5 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • Seems like something a stalker college roommate would do. The person will probably end up murdering you in your sleep.

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  • I don't know your whole situation and it's none of my business but here's a bit of serious insight. You made it seem like you HAVE to be around them for whatever reason, but if there's a trusted person you can talk to about the situation I would encourage you to do that. If nothing else, at least someone else is aware of what's going on. Also, depending on the severity of what's already happened you can talk to police to make them aware as well. Even if there's nothing they can do it's helpful for them to already know something was going on. I know I sound like a broken record, so I'll move on. To be honest, I don't really know what else to tell you. I'm new to this website so I'm not sure exactly how it works yet but if you want to message me I may be able to help you out further. I'm a 24 y/o female and I've dealt with sexual, emotional and verbal abuse. Best of luck to you either way and I sincerely hope you're safe.

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  • Tbh I don't have much knowledge on the full extent of the behavior of different abusers, but from what I know I definitely think that your abuser mimicking or copying you could be a type of psychological game. I don't exactly know what outcome they could be trying to reach by messing with you like this, but I doubt it's anything good. So try not to let it mess with your head too too much because it could give them exactly what they want.

    I hope that in the future you don't have to be around your abuser so frequently and that everything is going ok!

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  • No, the copying isn't abuse, people must like you, you're a quite popular person and yes it's normal.

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  • A guy did that to me too.

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