Is it normal boyfriend separated my close friend from me

67% Normal
6 Comments

To cut a long story short: She and I (both female) have been friends for over 15 years. We usually spend a lot of time together and travel due to our work. But besides work we have or had a beautiful companionship. She had other boyfriends before but never distanced herself from me because of them.
I feel he made her choose him over me, maybe out of jealousy.

Now, everytime there is an opportunity for us to meet, she gives pathetic excuses over and over again.

I have other friends but our friendship was special and we were so intimate. I admit I have romantic feelings for her, which didn't bother her when I confessed years ago.
I miss my mate so much.

Should I tell her she's hurting me or wait until she breaks up with him (I know it will happen)?

Voting Results
67% Normal
Based on 3 votes (2 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • Tealights
    6 years ago

    Basically, the problem is you love her as more than a friend.

    There's no way you can continue being her friend with the feelings you have, especially if she's in a relationship with someone she could possibly become serious with. You can try, but you'll have to accept that she'll need to spend more time with her partner to build a strong bond to help love grow between them.

    Also, you can try to talk to her about all of this, and toss in your theory of him being jealous of you; but unless she's showing legitimate signs of emotional abuse, then you can cross out the idea of him controlling her. In the end, if she's just innocently infatuated with him, and you come at her with this, "You're hurting me by not hanging out with me. Is he jealous of us," nonsense, then you'll come off as needy and making her choose when she shouldn't have to.

    I suggest either give them space to be a couple, and just do your own thing until the infatuation phase cools down or disappears entirely, or get to know her boyfriend and see if he's someone you can become friends with.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      Thanks. I am going to wait and see how serious they are. I can't confront her about her feelings for me now. We had years to sort it out and never did. The boyfriend won this time.

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  • SpongeBobSquareBants
    6 years ago

    Tell her your feelings and ask.

    I believe she probably told him that you liked her, he probably didn't feel too amazing about you two being together after that. But still ask, I could be entirely wrong.

    By the way, if you wait until they break up, you may find that the distance is already too great for you to bond again, try and find out what's happening as soon as possible.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      Thank you. Problem is we will have to see each other a lot because of our work. We're now on a sort of vacation...
      I don't want things to be awkward between us.
      We've never done anything she wasn't comfortable with. In fact she initiated most of it.
      I will talk to her if she picks up the phone.

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      • JonathanOo
        6 years ago

        Just wait then. Hopefully she will call you soon and make plans herself

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          6 years ago

          By knowing her so much, probably not. And if she marries him, I lose her forever. God, I wish they never got together.

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