If you had to choose, which material would you use to wipe yourself?

Which would you use to wipe your butt?

Aluminum foil 2
Saran wrap 13
Grass & weeds 16
Hard taco shells 4
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Comments ( 37 )
  • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk

    can i just drag my butt acrost the lawn like a dawg?

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    • SkullsNRoses

      This was a post many years ago, a woman wanted to sit naked on wet grass and pretend it was licking her clitoris. The cycle of IIN...

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  • KholatKhult

    Is this question time sensitive ?

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    • Very.

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    • MonteMetcalfe

      Butthole sensitive.

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  • 1WeirdGuy

    I could clean myself with leaves pretty easily. Especially if the tree is alive and the leaf is fresh.

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    • LloydAsher

      Hey because I dont have gold I'll just use a random post for this. But something extremely stupid just happened to me. I'm staying in a hotel and I think the cleaning people stole my pizza ๐Ÿ˜… box in all.

      Nothing else was stolen but I knew I had a box of pizza. And I still had trash in my room so now I'm sitting here like wtf is this shit going on. So I just reported probably the stupidest case of theft in my entire life.

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      • 1WeirdGuy

        Yeah id be pissed af. Id go confront them.

        maybe that was god himself trying to get you to watch what you eat on the road. ๐Ÿ˜‚ you're gonna start packing on weight like you wouldnt believe.

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        • LloydAsher

          I'm at the end of my training. That was my reward pizza. Also I got a girlfriend who loves cooking so I dont have to worry about how I'll eat on the road. I'll have some of her kickass cooking.

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          • 1WeirdGuy

            Same same, I'm one of the lucky ones too my wife cooks all my stuff.

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  • jethro

    Joe Biden's head.

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  • Rumpelforeskin

    Saran wrap. The others would hurt and if you wipe with the wrong plant it's going to suck. The ideal toilet paper would be the communist manifesto.

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    • ThatOneGuyYouNeverWantToMeet

      "if you wipe with the wrong plant it's going to suck."

      https://www.discovery.com/nature/Suicide-Plant
      Dendrocnide Moroides AKA The Suicide Plant, its stingers are so painful that horses go into a rage & need to be put down and some people are said to kill themselves afterwards. Such as a military officer (who I assume was wearing gloves) who wiped his ass with it after taking a shit in the bushes & then shot himself.

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    • 1WeirdGuy

      Imagine wiping with poison ivy! We got that EVERYWHERE in my state

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    • KholatKhult

      Commies are living in your headโ€ฆ rent-free !
      Buh dum tssss

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      • Rumpelforeskin

        OUR head.

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  • RoseIsabella

    The Sears catalogue!

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  • Wryladradofft

    I'm honestly surprised I'm the only one so far who chose the taco shells...

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    • 1WeirdGuy

      When I read that I imagined hard taco shells LOL

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  • LloydAsher

    Grass has to be the option with softest and most absorbent nature.

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  • MonteMetcalfe

    What, no Clorox wipes or a rag soaked in turpentine?

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    • LloydAsher

      Clorox. Itll burn but at least I'll have a bleached asshole in the end.

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  • MonkThousandWords

    water

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    • Unknown_player

      Bidets are surprisingly hygienic

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  • Iambillythemenacetosociety

    Rocks.

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