I witnessed a relative die and i can't get it out of my head

They were too sweet and to see them suffer was scary. They had cancer but they lost their children so they didn't want any life extending treatment (but it would of given them a few months not years) so within weeks they went from walking around and healthy to in bed weighing 72 pounds and dying. I feel so upset every time I think about it, they didn't deserve to die, they deserved a full happy life. It's so devastating and they could barely breathe in the end. I didn't witness their last breath but it was close to it. They were running out of air, couldn't breathe, were staring up at me looking terrified, they couldn't talk and I can't even imagine what they were thinking.

This person was unbelievably kind, they didn't deserve this. I will name child after them, I'll give them her first name as their middle name. :(

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Comments ( 25 )
  • Grunewald

    I am so sorry, OP. Ignore these horrid comments. They don't know what it's like, or they have no empathy.

    Yes, this experience is distressing and does take a while to come to terms with and no, you never forget it. At the same time as being a natural thing, there also seems to be something very unnatural about death; a deep sense that it should not exist.

    I watched a family member the way your loved one was, the night before they passed, and I saw an already-departed family member at the funeral home some years before that. These aren't easy experiences to process for me or for you, but they are experiences that can equip us to help people and inform our own priorities and beliefs if we process and use them right.

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  • bbrown95

    I'm very sorry for your loss. At least they are no longer in pain now, and that is such a sweet gesture of you to name your child after them.

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  • Whatintarnation

    That's an incredibly sweet gesture. I don't know why sometimes good people have such terrible luck. Even whole families seem to have an immense amount of tragedy. Hopefully, your future child will take inspiration from your relatives life and be just as kind.

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  • ospry

    That sounds like an awful state to have had to see them in. I'm really sorry you had to see them decline like that

    Your last memory of them isn't the only one though. Remember them how they were in life, recall all the great memories you had of them, and yes, recall how they looked at 72 pounds as well. It's important to remember the good and the bad

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  • Yaidin

    Sorry for your loss. I hope you can recover from this

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  • MonteMetcalfe

    I'm very sorry for your loss.
    It is very difficult when someone we love dies. It sucks. But give yourself plenty of time to grieve. There is no schedule. I was with my father when he took his last breath not quite 2 months ago, my mother almost 5 years ago & my grandfather almost 25 years ago. I know the feeling well. They are no longer in pain and are out of their suffering. Always remember your loved one who has passed wouldn't want or expect you to despair because they are gone. They'd want you to live at your best. Make them proud and honor their legacy. Good luck to you.

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  • kelili

    I always say that seeing someone die with cancer is one of the most horrible thing ever. I had a similar experience with my aunt. I loved her so much and seeing her suffering and being in so much pain was terrible. On her last day I went to see her and she was staring at the ceiling and there was this veil on her eyes. I knew she was leaving. I stood there shaking and I went outside and began to walk, five minutes later I got a call telling me she was dead. But I knew that she was going to die that day, her eyes told me so. I never cried that hard in all my life. She was like a mum to me. I haven't got over her loss.

    I still think of her very often.

    My condolences.

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    • Aw I can fully relate. It was like they were disappearing in front of my eyes and it was so fast just weeks they went from energetic walking around to gone. I hope they find a cure to cancer it's unbelievable we haven't yet, I believe it's out there.

      And thanks it means a lot I'm so sorry for your loss too

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  • 1WeirdGuy

    Damn sorry for your loss. We all gotta go through it. Its rough.

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  • Anonnet

    In the end, it was something she chose for herself. It's not your fault, I'm sure you tried your best.

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  • Gameofthrones288

    You want a gold star?

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    • Somenormie

      You're a jerk if you're going to make comments like that.

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    • 1WeirdGuy

      If you go around being cruel and joking about peoples sorrow it'll come back to you. Karma is a bitch.

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      • Tinybird

        Karma doesn't exist, let's not kid ourselves. If it exists, why do bad things happen to the nicest people?

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  • Iambillythemenacetosociety

    That's too bad.

    It's called life.

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    • hauntedbysandwiches

      Wow what an insensitive comment

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      • Iambillythemenacetosociety

        Yeah, well, it's true.

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        • hauntedbysandwiches

          Grow up

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          • Iambillythemenacetosociety

            Please tell me if I'm wrong.

            This is the same person that thinks not washing enough won't cause someone to have an odor in their private area, right?

            Sorry, but your opinion that I need to grow up isn't valid.

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            • hauntedbysandwiches

              Your comment isn't showing up for a reason, everyone reported it

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