I want to stop inviting men to my house for sex

As I say in previous post I'm having sex with random guys these days, but I want to stop that .

Not because that I don't want to have sex but because I'm scared that maybe someone would harm me.

At first I just thinked "what's the worst thing that would happen? bieng fucked? I'm catching them from streets to have sex"
But now after monthes of doing that I'm thinking that there's some crasy people that would do anything unexpected.

But I can't. I would just text somebody to come over or catch someone near brothels and bars then after it happens I'll think that I'll not do it more but I'll do it again .
* It's not that I don't want to have sex but I just want to stop inviting stranger men to my house even if they just looked harmless.*

Any ideas?

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  • risky af. Having a gun stashed by the bed some where you have quick access is an idea. Or having a friend there in the other room with a gun or some type of weapon.

    At the very least tell someone you will call them by a certain time if you're ok. And if you dont call that means somethings wrong. And if she calls and you dont answer somethings wrong. And if she calls and you answer but say some code word somethings wrong.

    It doesnt hurt to be prepared. You dont know these people.

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    • Part 2 of 2: Preparedness:

      I totally agree with being prepared; and while having someone who checks on you is a good idea. The most practical idea is to have an emergency escape bag... that you can just grab and run out of the house with (in whatever state of dress or undress you are in).

      This could be a small purse. Key contents:

      1) A flimsy colored emergency rain coat - so you have something to wear. These are commonly sold in the USA for several dollars and they are folded up in a sealed plastic bag.

      2) A modest amount of money (in cash form) and/or some form of debit/credit card. This allows you to take a taxi somewhere and buy some food and drink (not to mention other basics you may need).

      3) A back up cell phone. Do not use your normal cell phone. Many thugs will intentionally separate you from your normal cell phone. Have a back up (cheap Tracfone, etc: I have a $29 Tracfone that I got years ago for certain internet contacts, it cost me about $60/year to keep it active).

      Your backup phone should have key contacts, and perhaps Lyft/Uber, etc. Keep it on SILENT so no one knows that its in that bag. Routinely charge it: Make it part of your routine that its charged, on silent, and in the emergency bag prior to letting anyone in the house for sex that you have not established a good relationship with.

      4) Some form of picture ID.

      5) A spare house key. Perhaps a spare car key too.

      6) If its legal in your State or country: a small can of mace, or equivalent. You could have some of these stashed near the door separate from the emergency bag so you can slow them down if they are pursuing. I'd not have it in the bedroom - as it's more likely to be used against you there.

      Now, you are ready to cut and run at a moments notice - even if naked. You could likely be out of the house in less than 30 seconds if you felt threatened (perhaps less than 10 seconds). Just don't go back in without support; which may involve having the police with you.

      I wish you well with this,

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    • Part 1 of 2: Guns:

      As much as I like guns for self defense; they are ineffective (and often counterproductive) unless you have a dedication to use it if necessary and at least some training.

      Someone who waves a gun at you without intent to use it set in their eyes - usually has it taken away from them and used against them.

      The OP needs to decide if they are actually up to shooting and potentially killing someone if they feel appropriately threatened. Even then, if the other person knows about the gun (or suspects it) and its in an obvious place they will likely get to it first before the OP does.

      So I am cautious about recommending having a gun to people. For some people its a good choice; for others its not.

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      • This^

        It's amazing how in the US anybody can just go into a shop and buy a gun without any training, or any knowledge.
        No permits, no checks, no nothing.

        Then you get news headlines where panicky people shot each other, or were shot, or shot themselves by being stupid and not having any weapons training. Or wackos that mow down people.

        I had to learn about gun safety, had a course on how to handle guns, had exams, an eye test, psych evaluation and had to get a document from the police stating I'm not a criminal and install a safe in my house, before I could buy a gun! And I have to renew this stuff every 2 years.

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      • Without the gun theres not much of a realistic way she can defend herself against a much larger man. Even with a bat or something the larger man is likely to overpower her still and even with a knife. A gun is a great equalizer. It doesnt matter if you're 95 years old if you shoot anyone they die.

        She could have the gun hidden somewhere and if the guy starts raping her or beating her as soon as he is distracted or gets up she quickly grabs the gun and shoots him. Me and my wife both sleep with a gun in reach.

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    • When I did risky shit I always had a fall back guy that would dial 911 to check on my ass.

      Doesnt hurt to have a healthy amount of paranoia too.

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  • I'd start by getting involved with a sex addict group in your area. They can best advise you - and perhaps supply you with a safer set of partners.

    Nothing wrong with enjoying sex, or even being addicted to it; as long as you can control things a bit.

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  • the comment before me already mentioned this, but please do stop bringing them home cause even if they are not the dangerous ones, your information like your address could be passed on form them to someone else.
    you can maybe go to motels instead, or those guy's homes, also with sufficient self defense preparation.

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  • Thanks for everybody's ideas .

    I'm now just inviting friends that I know to my house to have sex .
    I'm trying hardly to just get into a hotel room with strangers and I just inform my friends.
    I just didn't like the idea of having a weapon

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  • I heard a Cockney accent in my head while reading this!

    Checkout this website!
    https://saa-recovery.org/

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