I want to be a total butt kisser at work

When upper management is there, I want to talk about how I a so proud of the company. On good days, I might even cry some tears of joy.

I want to be such a brown noser that even managers say what a stink face I am.

My new motto would be, You know me, I am all about the company.
Sitting in on meetings, telling the boss how great his ideas are.

Yep, if there is a manager ass around, I would be kissing it.

Isn't this a wonderful idea?

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 9 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • I hate slugs...

    I'm in management (manager of a car dealership and a small business) and I hate it when kissasses like you are nearby. The main goal of a business is profit. So if I say something stupid (cause I'm human), I expect someone to say "Hey, that won't work, maybe we should try X and Y approach"

    Yes men are only good to stroke your ego and to sink a business.

    Constructive criticism is always welcomed. Regardless if you're a partner, a secretary, or the guy that sweeps the floor. That's my viewpoint anyway...

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    • If only more people thought yes men are a bad idea we'd have less crazies in every group of people. XD

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  • For fucks sake, you masochist
    How far up the ass you gonna take that fist?

    You're tasting the shit that you take
    Not a birthday cake
    Bet you'd enjoy bein' slapped awake

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  • Dig your brown nose in 'n brown it more!
    Ain't no shame in bein' a corporate whore

    Self respect is for the stubborn poor
    And also the rich who buy galore

    But us middle class know to lick the floor
    Our lives ought be nothin' but a chore

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  • I'm no good at that asskissing crap, best I can do is say, "nice tie', but only if it actually is a nice tie. I'm not a fan of phoney bullshit.

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  • People take this place a little too serious.

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  • They're gonna sense it if you're too crazy with it. Just make sure they like you and you're good.

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  • Why stop at kissing? Fuck her in the ass or at least lick her clit and vag! How do people stop halfway like this?

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  • Only do it if you can somehow convince yourself that you genuinely believe the crap that spews from your mouth. If the corporate big dicks suspect for a moment that you're less than totally serious, they might decide you're a heretic that's mocking the sacred corporate mission statement.

    I'm convinced that even the psychopathic assholes perched on the highest branches of any particular corporate tree never truly believe the shit they spout about the glories of the organisation that pays their inflated salary. Total nut-jobs like Steve Jobs and Elon Musk do genuinely believe, but then they're nuttier than a fruitcake, and it's their pile of corporate crap they're sitting on top of.

    Leaving them aside, if the high-level corporate monkeys really did believe what they say, they wouldn't be willing to leap to another tree as soon as someone waves a bunch of greenbacks in their direction.

    About the only thing that sucking up to your boss shows is that you're willing to play the fucking corporate game, and you'll happily drop your trousers and bend over for whoever happens to be your boss.

    If you're a masochist at heart and you have nil self respect, then maybe that's exactly the message you want to be sending.

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