I want more scars

Recently, I seem to have grown an obsession over scars and other abnormalities or imperfections. It all started about two or more months ago. I was bored, and making those little temporary white lines on my arm with a pencil. Even though they disappeared in a few seconds, I enjoyed making them.
After a few days, this led to actually wanting to cut my skin. I wasn't quite ready for a knife, so I used my arrowhead necklace, which is actually decently sharp. I had made two cuts, and felt satisfied. They were small, and they hurt, but I enjoyed looking at them. I would pull off the scabs, in the hope that it would leave a scar. But recently, they've been disappearing.
After that, I got a third cut, after my friend accidentally scratched my right hand. It didn't hurt at all at the time, although it was bleeding like crazy. It's a decent sized cut, and it's a dark pink shade now, even though it's been a few weeks. This cut is my favorite one.
And the final one, was a small burn on my left hand. It used to be a dark-ish brown, but now it's barely noticeable.
All of my cuts are disappearing, but I wish they wouldn't. I don't know what it is about them that I love so much, but I don't want them to go away. I want more. I want my arms to have scars and cuts all over them. Somewhat like the right arm of Izuku Midoriya, the main character of the anime Boku No Hero Academia. He got these by overusing his power. Maybe it's the same for me. Maybe I want scars to show all that I've been through. To show people that I'm not delicate or weak. To show them that I can be tough and strong.
I don't think of my situation as self harm. Even though I want to cut my skin, I don't wish to inflict pain upon myself. I just love the look of blood and cuts on my arms or hands.
I am not making this up for attention. It is a legitimate problem that I have and I want to resolve it.
Is there something wrong with me? Am I going insane? Please share your thoughts with me in the comments, and have a wonderful day! :)

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 14 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • Scars are a byproduct, not something you should strive for. You shouldn’t act wrecklessly just because you want people to think you live a dangerous life.

    I have a very drastic facial scar, along with amputations and a few knicks and dings here and there. When I was a teen I thought they made me look tough, as you grow older you start to get insecure about them all over again.

    Eventually they stop looking like trophies from risky and cool behavior, and instead start to look like you were just unable to perform well enough and have been damaged because of it.

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  • You had it in the first paragraph - you're bored. Get a hobby.

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  • Having scars doesn't make you look like a badass anime character. Even if someone was initially intrigued enough to ask about them, how would you respond? "Oh, that scar? I got that one from cutting myself with a necklace." Nobody is going to think that you are "tough and strong," they'll just be slightly concerned about your mental health.

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  • Normalness is hard to determine. Humans, while we share many thoughts, all think differently. Some of these thoughts may feel strange to others. However, from your explanation of why you want the scars, i can understand, leading me to vote this as Normal.

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  • Honey, I'm sorry but I can't be arsed to read all that, but I can tell it's not normal.

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  • I could cane your bare bum extra hard and leave lines of scars across your cheeks, sitting down for a day or two might be tricky!

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  • Trust me scars are not something you want especially if they’re self-inflicted. People will most likely be concerned if they notice cuts or scars. Additionally inflicting injury on yourself can become an addiction due to the endorphins released when you’re body’s in pain giving you a high of sorts. like all addictions the effects eventually fade and you have to do more to get the same effects which can lead to deeper cuts which can potentially be fatal. Can you tell I have a history in self harm?

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  • No it's not normal but I also think scars can be attractive parts of people

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  • Make the ultimate scar. Get a mallet and then pummel it as hard as you can on one of your testicles.

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  • TLDR

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