I think she's cute but i don't know if that means i have a crush?

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There's this girl (20), works at a pet store...I'm 24f and I go in often to "buy" stuff but also mainly to see her :)
She has anxiety & depression I recently found out. I've known her over 2 months and despite not hanging out, we are friends and she's opened up to me a bit about personal things like her family and anxiety issues. I completely understand her because I have anxiety too.
I recall the first time I went into the shop, I noticed her staring and it was just at me and really obvious. Anyway, she seems shy, I can tell even though she acts confident, I can see it in her eyes or how she smiles all the time.
We can talk about anything online but like sometimes like today, she seemed a bit extra shy but I'm not sure why since I've known her for two months +
She's really sweet, I think she's nervous around me, could be social anxiety ? I look at her and sometimes she looks away or she held her hands together (maybe she was trying to hide her trembling hands)? Not sure if they were..
I really like her..I don't want her to feel awkward around me though as it sets off my anxiety...I feel I can't have a deep conversation in person because of how nervous we both are...
Main question is - Am I doing the right thing by constantly going into see her or should I leave her alone because I don't want to make her feel any more anxious?

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Comments ( 16 )
  • Ray-BanRaven
    6 years ago

    Solve the anxiety issue and just ask her to hang out.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      I have :)

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      • Anonymous Post Author
        6 years ago

        asked her I mean

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  • rayb12
    6 years ago

    Is her butt big?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      That's the thing, I don't check her out because it's not so much sexual attraction..I think it may be a slight crush possibly but I don't feel sexual or think she's hot because she's the sweet and cute type. I'm definitely fond of her but I'm not sure what it is I feel exactly ..maybe romantish ...or maybe I just simply like her a lot and have fond feelings towards her

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    • alienslayer
      6 years ago

      Yeah and her lips are purple

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  • Morrow
    6 years ago

    From what you described it sounds like she likes you too. So leaving her alone might make her more instead of helping. I if I was in that position I'd think; Why didn't he show up today? was it something I said? does he hate me now? :'( ... I may be exaggerating a little, but you get the picture.

    The anxiety comes from not knowing what the other is thinking. Try being more open. But since you both have anxiety, this may take a while...

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      Yeah okay thanks for this...interesting! Well I think I'm going to ask her straight up over text if me seeing regularly in the shop makes her anxious and as that's the last thing I want to do..

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      • Anonymous Post Author
        6 years ago

        I asked her and she said I don't make her anxious at all and I said so it's all in my head then lol
        She was like don't stress (name), you're all good

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  • Boojum
    6 years ago

    I can see how two socially-anxious people might make a good match, and how it could be very difficult to get that match together. For the nothing it's worth, you have my sympathies.

    If you're in contact with her online, why not ask her if seeing you in the shop makes her uncomfortable? Maybe say that you enjoy seeing her, but you'll stop visiting if you're making her anxious, because that's the last thing you want?

    A pet shop (or any other work environment) is not really the place to have serious "getting to know you" conversations. The place for that would be someplace that's fairly quiet but public and completely non-threatening to either of you. If you're both into animals, maybe you could meet up at someplace animal-related? Not really a "date" as such, sort of, "I was thinking of visiting xxxx on Sunday because they have xxxx. Have you ever been?" and take it (gently) from there. If you were to meet up, you could talk about what you're seeing and what's going on, rather than feeling pressured into getting into personal stuff right off the bat.

    It's always difficult to know what's really going on in other people's heads. Sometimes they haven't a clue either. Although you seem fairly sure the girl likes you, I think you need to be aware that you might be misinterpreting. Wishful thinking is pretty powerful at times. If she says seeing you does make her anxious, you should stick to your offer of not visiting the shop (or at least do so far less often than you have been) and you need to be prepared to accept that she's just not ready to take things any further right now.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      Thankyou for this great response! Much appreciated :)
      To be honest I'm not fairly sure at all if she likes me..what gives you that impression? I just mentioned a few "possible" signs, but again that could be anxiety related.
      She never said she has social anxiety either, but there can be triggers for it such as talking about her past or trying to explain her depression to new people.
      I have not spoken about either in person so that's why I keep wondering why she's shyish around me, maybe she's just purely shy because I like to try (if I can get the courage) lol to look at her a lot. obviously when talking.
      She actually got a bf not long after meeting her so I'm more so just curious. I don't even know if what I feel are romantic feelings..

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  • issaproblem
    6 years ago

    From the way she acts around you(the staring, acting shy, her body language) there does seem to be a possibility she likes you. As for the "I think she's cute but I'm not sure if I like her" part, the only way to find out is hanging out! There you can see if you enjoy spending time with her and if you two have chemistry. :)

    If she does have social anxiety and rejects your offer to hang out outside the pet shop, it may be that her anxiety is stopping her or it may be that she truly isn't interested. But if she does have social anxiety and accepts your offer, just know she must be very interested since she's trying to put aside her social anxiety for you, which would be a challenging thing to do. I myself suffer from social anxiety, so trust me. :)

    You also mentioned you have anxiety, as well. But give it a shot and ask her. It's never as bad as you think. And maybe open up to her to show her she can trust you, and maybe eventually she'll open up to you too, over time.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      Thank you for this great comment! I have asked if she wants to go to the beach or something when it's finer weather and she said that sounds great !:)

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  • rayb12
    6 years ago

    Sounds like you're gonna go for it no matter what :)

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  • RoseIsabella
    6 years ago

    Do you get butterflies when you see her?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      I get nervous but not butterflies

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