I think i have a brother complex?

So my brother died right before I turned fourteen and I think I have a complex, kind of like an Electra complex, but with my brother instead of my dad. Let me explain.
Within the same year, I developed a crush on a guy who was in my science class. He was kind and kind of silly, just like my brother. He was also really attractive and I felt distracted looking at his body. He had a girlfriend, so he was off-limits.
High school comes and I meet a different guy who I thought kind of looks like the other one. (They both have similar hair and the same color eyes, which are also the same color as my brother's.)
He was a bit different, though. He still had the same kindness and sense of humor, but was a bit shy and awkward, kind of like my brother around people he didn't know.
We hit it off when we first met and exchanged phone numbers. We texted all the bus ride home. I was really excited because I felt attracted to him.
I could tell he had a crush on me because I heard him talk to his friend about me. I was a bit surprised by this, but just ignored it.
I would do things to try to ignore my feelings, and I ended up hurting his feelings. Over time, I started to acknowledge how I felt around him. I felt really safe around him, but I never told him this. I also had sexual dreams about him.
Sophomore year starts and we have no classes together, but do occasionally see each other during free lunch period. I felt really awkward and sweaty around him, and sometimes could not approach him.
This year, I told him I had feelings for him, and he told me he did not feel the same. I was expecting that answer, but still spent two weeks or so not wanting to do much because I was upset. We are still friends, but I cannot seem to fully get over him.
I don't feel the same "smile whenever he does something cute" way, but, on a subconscious level, I still want to be close to him. I still want to have special reserved time with him and I don't like other girls trying to hit on him. And he is still in my wet dreams.
I don't understand why he stopped liking me. He said that we were "romantically incompatible." What is wrong with us? I don't understand and I'm really confused.