I never make my kids clean their rooms

In our household, my kids (3 girls, ages 12, 10, and 9) are never required to clean their rooms. They only do so if they choose to. None of them ever clean their rooms. The rooms aren't so much dirty as they are cluttered. You cannot see the floor in any of their rooms. But that is ok because it is their choice. They have no requirement to ever clean their rooms; that is a firm promise I have made to them. There only rule is that their mess can never encroach outside of their rooms. They honor that rule. But I don't think they will ever choose to clean their rooms. But that's ok. Their choice.

Voting Results
45% Normal
Based on 31 votes (14 yes)
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Comments ( 26 )
  • When I was really little my mom would help me but growing up she made me do it myself regularly and now I still tend to keep my room clean and if it gets messy it eventually bugs me. I was always taught to pick up after myself and I didn’t turn out to messy of a person. My moms a messy person tho that’s for sure.

    I’m glad I was taught to be neat in that way but I can understand giving them a decision at a young age and letting them have a little say on their life. If and when I have a kid I’ll end up teaching them to also clean up and have chores and keep bedrooms clean but I mean not everyones the same you do you I’m not here to judge.

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    • Tealights

      I wish I was taught to clean up. My mother is extremely messy, and didn't teach me any healthy habits, so my room is always a disaster like hers. I'm slowly dropping bad habits, but I'll definitely teach my children to clean as well, even though my methods will be weird if they don't listen lol.

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      • Even if you’re still a little messy that’s alright. My moms got a issue with not letting things go and keeping them until I’d get annoyed with the clutter and throw it in trashbags for her to go through. She wasn’t the greatest of a role model with being neat and organized but it was almost as if she was forming me to be a better her.

        😂😂 I like your idea tho just annoying them out of it should do the trick. If mine don’t listen I think I might just do that hahaha.

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  • JD777

    My daughter was a great kid to raise, but I just could never get her to keep her room clean. You just have to pick your battles and that one seemed less worrisome, so I didn’t harp too often. She’s grown and still has a messy room. But she’s a great person. That’s what counts for me.

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    • McBean

      Sounds good. Is she pursuing a Ph.D. and will she be joining you on your international speaking circuit?

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      • JD777

        Heheh. She is following a very different path than mine!

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  • Tealights

    What you're doing isnt wrong, you're giving her freedom and all the new parenting jazz.

    However, I wouldn't do this. If my child room is so dirty or cluttered to the point I cant see the floor, I would probably secretly throw harmless objects on the floor near their favorite areas so they can step on it. Or misplace things they use constantly (video game controllers, etc) under piles of clothes/junk. Enough times of doing this and them experiencing mild annoying inconveniences, eventually they should learn the clean up after themselves.

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  • SwickDinging

    From a parenting perspective I see no issue with this and think it's becoming a more common way to do things.

    However I wouldn't allow this where I live because I'd be worried about ants/cockroaches/snakes/spiders etc taking up residence. Those last two can be deadly quickly where we are. It'so very humid so I'd be worried about mould. Have you had any visitors? If you live somewhere that these things aren't a concern then it's probably fine.

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  • JustMolly

    I would only allow my kids to have messy rooms if they promised to not let it get TOO out of hand, and if they cleaned it themselves every now and then. And when I say 'clean' I mean picking up a vacuum and cleaning it PROPERLY, not just tidying things up like putting a book back on the shelf. There's nothing wrong with being messy, kids are messy. But all kids should learn how to not only look after their things properly, but how to keep their surroundings hygienic. Learning how to clean is such an underrated skill.

    If you can't see the floor, that in my opinion Is a tad too far. Mice aren't only attracted to food, they are also attracted to messy surroundings and are on the constant lookout for new places to hide and scavenge. If they keep their floors covered with clutter for long periods of time, then the mice without a doubt will start to become comfortable knowing that there will always be a safe place for them to hide. So cleaning the floor every now and then is definitely a must if you don't want the mice to start using their bedrooms as safe-zones.

    At the end of the day though, they are your kids, and whether or not you want them to clean their rooms is totally up to you.

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  • Boojum

    We're the parents of a girl the same age as your middle child, and our attitude is pretty much the same.

    The only things we're really strict about with her are things like how she behaves towards others, teeth-brushing, and - over the last couple of years - personal hygiene. I'm convinced that kids her age and teens are physiologically incapable of detecting their own BO. She has become rather pungent since she started to go through puberty, and we don't hesitate to tell her when she stinks and needs to change her clothes and have a shower.

    There have been times when she's lost stuff, and I always make it a point to remind her that it wouldn't have happened if she chose to be more organised. I figure the point will eventually sink in. Until it does, the lost stuff is her problem, and she knows she can expect no sympathy from us. She's also responsible for taking care of her own laundry, so it's her problem if her favourite outfits aren't fit to wear when she wants them.

    She's not allowed to take any food or drink into her personal disaster area, and she knows that's because crumbs, spills and forgotten food will attract bugs. She has a typical little girl phobia about creepy-crawlies, so she accepts that rule.

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    • leggs91200

      Ok so what you say makes sense except the part about your daughter becoming pungent. The human female body does not produce any kind of odors. Really attractive women do not even fart or poop.

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      • Boojum

        Damn!

        I guess we must have a son. Her mum and I will talk to them about when they want to start transitioning this evening.

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    • LornaMae

      Print out these 3 comic strip for her on my behalf. Hahaha

      https://www.gocomics.com/search/heartofthecity?utf8=✓&terms=pigsty

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    • LornaMae

      HAHAHAHA "personal disaster area"! Love it!

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  • jethro

    Good three more future burdens to society. Having no responsibilities and expecting everyone to provide for their every whims. Thank you very much.

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    • Boojum

      Don't see how you can reach that conclusion.

      Parents who run around catering to their kids' every whim and tidying up all their messes are more likely to produce adults who expect others to always do the same.

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  • andithoughtiwasweird

    you're a dumbass parent and they wont be wrong when they grow up and blame you for them being lazy slobs. I never had chores growing up and now im a relatively useless adult. cant cook or clean really but one thing i do do is keep my space decluttered and organized. my mom helped keep my room clean and orderly so i became accustomed to it being that way. wtf kind of parent are u

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    • An excellent parent who lets her kids make their own decisions, thank you! Where do you come off calling me a bad parent??

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  • leggs91200

    Unless the kid wants to clean their room or at least will TRY, it is a losing battle. You might as well just go fight a pit bull for a steak, it would be less of a battle.

    Shit when my son was a kid, charities used to film his room to show the squalor that some kids are living in. Yeah right here in the USA. We had the same rule as Boojum about how the mess needed to stay in his room. However, during the divorce when we were going to move out, we both stopped caring and our son's squalid lifestyle spread to the living room. Jesus Christ.

    Once when I was a kid, I was complaining about being bored. My smart-ass step-mom said I could clean my room, that would be something to do. I was SOOOO bored that i did it, like really got in there and cleaned everything best a kid can. I found so many missing toys, pieces of games, etc. It was like Christmas morning again. After that I tried to maintain some level of organization.

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  • curious-bunny

    My bedroom is a mess but the rest of the house well it's not cluttered with my sjit I'll tell ya that

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  • RoseIsabella

    I'm not mad at ya. My folks mad my life a living hell when it came to my room when I was a teenager. I haven't been able to keep a neat room in nearly 30 years. Funny thing is my room used to be quite neat, and organized before my mom started to always snoop through my stuff, read my notes, mail and listen in on my phone calls. My mom constantly snooping, and simultaneously insisting that I keep a neat room messed me up inside. Something about a messy room comforts me. It's sad, but true.

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    • McBean

      Send me your Mother's address. I'll give her a anonymous subscription to "High Times" magazine for Christmas. You can say you refuse to believe she doesn't want the magazines and give her the silent treatment. Of course, you can dig the back issues out of the trash for your own reading pleasure. If any oregano should surface at her house in a plastic sandwich bag, a vindicating glance could send shame her way.

      Sometimes it's hard to put distance between yourself and a toxic parent. But distance is what you need.

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      • RoseIsabella

        Thanks.

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  • WarriorGene

    You're a good parent. Hats off to you.

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    • Thank you! It works well in our household not always having to fight with the kids to keep their rooms clean. It's quite a simple matter to just close the door and not worry about it. That way, the kids can enjoy having their rooms as messy as they want without any interference from us and we don't have to see the mess or worry about it. Why should we as parents feel that we need to dictate the way our kids keep their own space, regardless of whether it's spotless or a total disaster area; that's their business, not ours!

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      • WarriorGene

        Sounds really cool. Everybody having his/her own space to handle.

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