I never get asked out or approached, not even by confident guys

9 Comments

I don't think I am ugly and sometimes strangers compliment me by saying I am pretty or attractive. 5'7 and 130 lbs and never had a bf. Even moreso, I even see ugly women with bfs, so I wonder why I can't get one and what I am doing wrong. I don't understand why I never get asked out or approached, not even by confident guys. Yea, I don't dress in a sexy or a provocative way. Nor do I frequent bars or clubs very often, but I do try to go out in public. I don't even know which guys are in my league and I don't know how I should lower my standard because not even unattractive guys are after me. Even an unattractive guy cold approached and hit on a girl right in front of me, practically ignoring me.

It's like all the confident guys think I am ugly. Yet, It's like I only attract shy guys or guys who seem intimidated by me yet they seem attractive. I once caught a random guy staring at me in a train station and he looked away in embarrassment. Once in a blue moon, I see a guy stare at me openly and it looks like he is about to approach me but he never does it. Even though I find the guy attractive, I never do anything about it, like give him a signal or approach them myself, because it is usually the wrong time/place and this usually happens rarely and unexpectedly. But whenever I feel like I am at the right place and time for love, guys seem never notice me. When I put myself out there a little, its like absolutely no guys are interested in me at all. Guys only seem to notice me (but not approach or ask me out) at random, rare, and unexpected times during my life. I know I am only 21, but I want to experience love and dating since I have never experienced it before. I honestly don't know what's wrong with me because it even seems like many girls have the problem of many men approaching her but it isn't true in my case.

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Comments ( 9 )
  • Lizzgrio
    6 years ago

    And you're going to continue getting no where with this because you do exactly nothing.
    Your want a guy? Take the first step. Beat him to the punch. Surprise yourself. Surprise him.
    It will get u somewhere and yiu will find your balance.
    Or keep doing what ur doing and keep crying about it. So attractive.

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  • JonathanOo
    6 years ago

    My best friend and I experienced that our whole life. We're your age and never dated anyone else. It's as if we don't exist outside normal friendship/association. You obviously don't seem like your a horror so it's possible you just don't look "approachable". My best friend is super hot and guys still don't ask her out. They either think she is taken or just not a "typical" girl. A lot of it is your outward demeanor and others perception of you. If I guy looks away embarrassed from appreciating your looks then he probably feels like he violated your personal space. That means they don't feel that your approachable. Not that you're ugly or anything.

    Myself on the other hand..... I think it's a combination of both. Plus I'm somewhat awkward. There is just nothing attractive about me even if I have a good personality. I'm just not a hot commodity lol

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  • bubsy
    6 years ago

    I don't think many women know the risks involved in the cold approach. Make it easier on them and do things-intramural sports, clubs (that sort that don't involve terrible music), etc. It is far easier for a man to approach you in those settings.

    In other words, do things for yourself and they'll come.

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    • Youngvictoria
      6 years ago

      100% agree here. Get involved in new social activities like sports as mentioned or how about volunteer work with a charity? Or make an effort to meet a few new friends and through them you can meet more people. Also be sure to Exude confidence and positivity yourself...men are attracted to that and will be more likely to approach you.

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  • BlackCatsAreAwesome
    6 years ago

    One word: feminism. They have outlawed flirting and pick up. There are places where men can get arrested for staring at a girl. At least in the US, U.K. Or Australia.

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  • Decorum
    6 years ago

    Well, you seem to be quite confident so have you ever tried to approach a guy you find attractive? If you are attractive, no guy will ever turn you down. Tbf, even if you are "average", very few guys will diss you.

    I say you have nothing to loose, so just make a move on that handsome guy next time you see him. :)

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  • Purpletosy29
    6 years ago

    This is basically my life.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      Glad i'm not the only one! :p

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  • [Old Memory]
    6 years ago

    Ask a cute guy out. No harm in trying.

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