I need advice i fell terrible, please

I have known this person for a few years we enjoyed spending time together, however we started getting distante for like 2 years straight.
Then we started to talk again, however I noticed that she changed a lot (I changed a lot too), and I didn't really wanted to keep talking to her oftenly anymore, I understand that people change and it is not her fault at all, but she turned on the kind of person that I would just keep as a acquaintance.
I didn't hated the new version of her, I just lost interest on talking.
I always feel so bad when I refuse her invite to spend time
I know I am being a horrible person, and need advice
She lives near my house which makes me fell even more terrible, because she can just cross the road and call me
Sorry for bothering with my problems

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  • You can just say it bro. She got fat.

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  • The awful truth is that there's nothing you can do except let yourself grieve. I have been in this situation so many times and I've yet to get over the little sting of guilt I still feel about these people. Rationally speaking though, there are billions of people in the world and there is only a limited number of friendships you can invest in. You don't have to see them; there is no obligation to. There are other people taking up your time. You know that if that person were really in trouble and came knocking, you would help them.

    This way of losing people is a normal but painful part of life - a kind of loss that people don't talk about so much (perhaps because friendship isn't as 'juicy' as sex, death and disaster), but that is just as real as the kinds that people do talk about.

    Maybe you'll come to like the new person you have found in the place of the old. There doesn't seem to be any reason why you shouldn't be able to, in theory, as long as you're okay starting again from more-or-less 'getting to know' each other. But you don't have to. Friends can come in and out of your inner circle. My own reality is that when I have lost people like that, I never managed to befriend their new self.

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  • Time is a bitch. Find new friends.

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  • Yes, people change and they loose interest in old friends and make new ones.

    That is totally normal.

    It's also normal to go through a grieving period as well.

    My suggestion: Find a new activity group that does something you are interested in (where they meet in person)... and make new friends.

    The whole reason these groups exist is becaue people like to hang out with people of similar interest, and learn more or pass on what they have learned about something.

    People are a social creature... you do need to have groups of people you hang out with.

    Feel free to join several different groups doing difffeent things.

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  • People can grow out of other people sometimes. If you don't want to spend time with her it's only fair that you should let her know. It's not something you can really control either, but you shouldn't feel like you're obligated to be her friend.

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