I need a new perspective on my mum

I can't help thinking that my mum's a weirdo. I've been through therapy because of her and when I describe the kind of treatment I went through there the therapists say that from my description of her "my mum has traits of narcissism". Although they also added that they couldn't tell for sure unless if they met with her, too.

I just want to detail some of my experiences with my mum and I want to see if the parents of IIN.com can tell me whether this is normal or odd behavior? If I should worry that she'll try something like it again, or should I bury the hatchet?

My mum had a curfew for me when I was 18 still so a legal adult. I can let that pass because I was still living under her roof. (At the time.) This is where it gets weird though: she didn't let me have a key. She would say theres a curfew for me but with the exception that shes awake to answer me by then. If I arrived late, she would ground me for waking her up. She used to scope the town looking for me and watch me with my friends from afar. She would often go through my room looking for a diary (that did not exist). Before I had even planned on moving out she conspired that I was going to abandon her. She never taught me how to cook, or to drive a car. She would sometimes even buckle my seatbelt in the car for me or do my washing. Even if I was going to do it anyway and separated fabrics. (Some shrink in warm cycles.) Yet she was intent on things always being done her way. If something went missing she would never properly look she would just call me up and when I dont answer she would follow me to my friends houses. I wasn't allowed sleep overs and I barely ever let on I was dating anyone or else she flips out. When I did tell her of who I was seeing she refused to hear it. He just wasnt up to her standard for who she wanted dating her daughter.

So you see, I find it hard to sympathize especially when so much of my lacking in being an adult was because of her overly sheltering me. From what? I don't know. She always gave me the impression that she didn't want bad things happening to me that had happened to her. The way I see it though is that her and I aren't the same. Just because a bad thing may of happened to her doesnt mean it will for me. She doesn't like thinking at all that I'm wiser than I let on, even though living comfortably and independently should be proof that I'm capable to do things. She just never gave me the chance. I think it's because she doesnt have anyone else around. I don't know my dad and I dont have other siblings. It was just her and I growing up. I think shes afraid to let go, but shes smothering me. I just wanted to vent and to see if any is it normal parents have an explanation maybe as to how she was acting. Because my mind is blank

Is It Normal?
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  • You're mother is very much abnormal, and she sounds like a real nightmare to me. I think you should try to get away from her!

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