I might be gay or bi, but i don't know

19 Comments

I am a teenage male. Through my childhood I have assumed and believed I was straight, and I want to be straight (I don't believe there's anything wrong with being gay, I just don't want to be). When I was around 12, I discovered porn, then I discovered gay porn. Ever since then, I have been very attracted to men and not at all attracted to women. I watch gay porn on a daily basis. I would have sex with a man, I would. But I would never, NEVER date or definitely not marry a man. I want to marry a woman some day and start a family with children of my own. What do you think, am I gay, bi, or straight, please give your opinion.

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Comments ( 19 )
  • aetsen555
    6 years ago

    I think you re bi-curious, this is what it is mean for me. Want to try sex with the same sex but than...
    Iā€™d say: try it with a guy, if it was enough you re bi curious, if you want more cock than that is more like bisex.
    If you dont want sex with women it is gay

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  • Checkmate_King
    6 years ago

    Here's the test: A good looking male about your age, and an equally good looking girl are both naked lying on the edge of a bed side by side.

    You are on your knees on the floor in front of them. Both of them ask you for oral sex. Which one do you go to first?

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    • CS1
      5 years ago

      the closest one, then the other.

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  • Boojum
    6 years ago

    First, human sexuality is not an either-or thing. It's a spectrum, and there are lots of people in the middle between 100% heterosexual and 100% homosexual.

    You don't say exactly how old you are, but I think it's not uncommon for people to feel uncertain about their sexual orientation when they're in their teens.

    I'm not gay and I'm not that familiar with the scene, but my understanding is that a lot of gay guys have no interest in long-term relationships, so I suspect that element of what you're currently feeling is not unusual.

    What I don't understand is why, when you say that you're not at all attracted to women, you're so definite about wanting to marry a woman and have children. This sounds to me like something you've been culturally conditioned to want, and while you can accept your homosexual impulses, you can't quite get past that conditioning.

    Obviously, you're not the first guy to feel all this. The world is full of men and women who accepted that they were gay only after marrying someone of the opposite gender and having children. You, at least, have recognised the dilemma before doing the "normal" thing, going through a lot of heart-ache, and ending up saddled with child and spousal support payments.

    I suggest that you give yourself some time to figure out exactly who you are and what you truly need and want from life. As a teenage guy, you've got probably at least 40 years ahead of you during which you can father a child. Your prime years in the gay meat-market are a lot fewer, but it's not like the clock is ticking on that either.

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    • nikkiclaire
      6 years ago

      Of course gay people want long term relationships, we are just like everyone else, with the same needs and wants as all humans. I am actually pretty stunned to see you write that.

      I'm not invovled in any kind of "scene" any more or less than anyone else who is a normal person.

      Don't confuse marching sjw's with gay or bi.

      As for possible societal pressure for OP to marry and have a family, i fear that, which is why I think he should know for sure before getting married. If he is bi tho, it is perfectly natural. Bi couples can have wonderful long term relationships if open and honest with each other.

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      • Ellenna
        6 years ago

        He said gay GUYS and from my observations he's correct. In my experience lesbians are much more likely to want long term relationships than gay guys.

        Ever heard this joke:

        Q "What do lesbians bring on the second date"?

        A "All their possessions in the moving van"

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        • nikkiclaire
          6 years ago

          I would be willing to bet most gay guys are not lovers of random sex and orgies. I have no data though. Many probably never come out of the closet or satiate their desires out of fear.

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      • Boojum
        6 years ago

        I know long-term gay (and lesbian) couples, but I also recall stories about the pre-AIDS bathhouse culture, I know there's a long tradition of something called "cottaging" in Britain which basically involved men meeting up for sex with strangers in public toilets or parks, and there's currently a thing in Britain called "chemsex" parties - basically, drug-fuelled, weekend-long gay orgies.

        I'm not gay, but I am a guy, and I think that allows me to understand the mindset of guys who do this sort of thing. And assuming everyone consents and there's no long-term physical or emotional damage, I'd never criticise them, just as I'd never criticise heterosexual people of either gender who enjoy loads of casual sex.

        Lots of casual sex with strangers may be as much a stereotype for gay guys as U-hauling is for lesbians, but there's an element of truth in both.

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  • nikkiclaire
    6 years ago

    Please don't get married or have children until you know for sure. Whatever you are is ok, but getting married for selfish reasons won't work in the long run, whatever those reasons may be.

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  • RoseIsabella
    6 years ago

    Porn is bad for your mind.

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    • Intheyear2018
      6 years ago

      Well hello there.

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  • ItsABee
    5 years ago

    You might be gay with internalized homophobia, you might just want what is socially accepted. It might take you a while to get over it but as a lesbian who dealt with the same thoughts, you sound gay.

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  • _confused_
    5 years ago

    Why wouldn't you date a man

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  • Bradisrad
    6 years ago

    It think you are just curious about your sexuality which I think is pretty normal . Fantasy vs real life are two different things . I would think you are bi curious

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  • [Old Memory]
    6 years ago

    I agree with Nikki...whatever you are is okay! Labels are so unfortunate. Everyone should pleasure themselves in whatever way they choose. I happen to enjoy sex with males and females (my preference is another female) and could not care less about what others think.

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  • OwOWhatsThis
    6 years ago

    šŸ‘ŒšŸ‘ˆ

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  • Pumpurrnickel
    6 years ago

    You're either attracted to a gender or you're not. Only you can figure that out.

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  • [Old Memory]
    6 years ago

    I think you're either confused, or gay but in denial. I hope for your sake you're confused and you get over it. But if not you will need to either come to terms with it and accept it or come to terms with it and live in denial. Personally I don't understand why anyone would accept it and consider it a normal way to live, but apparently a lot of people do these days.

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  • dilater
    6 years ago

    your gay nosuch thing bi thats just a gay in denial you want wife and kids to fit social norms it would be big mistke

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