I met a guy on an online forum and am really falling for him... am i crazy?

86% Normal
10 Comments

I have never dated online. Was just active on an online forum where people tended to discuss controversial topics. Two years ago a new guy joined and at first he got into many arguments with pretty much everyone (me included). I disagreed with him on a lot of topics ranging from politics to health. But we somehow managed to keep a dialogue going despite our differences. Talking with him is interesting and he helped me see new perspectives I hadn't considered before.

One year ago I invited him to a chat group where I regularly talk with online friends who share the same hobbies as me. This guy and I got to talk more frequently, and discovered many similarities in our cultures and personalities. I had completely given up on love at the time, was single and not even looking. It happened so gradually that I did not even notice when exactly I had developed feelings for him.

To this day I have never met him in person. This feels very weird to me, because I am used to meeting people in person, face to face. I have had phone calls with this man, but no video calls yet (I do not feel comfortable showing the interior of my home to someone who is technically a stranger). We live in two different but neighboring states. We could relatively easily meet up if both of us traveled to come see each other. Still this is a long distance friendship, and so far only online. He has confirmed he has feelings for me too.

He says he wants to meet up in December. Should I give this love a chance? Is this developing at a normal pace? (We are both adults in our late twenties.) All this just came as a big shock to me, because I did not even consider online dating as an option. I did not register on any dating sites. Is this normal? Do people meet each other on online forums these days?

Do you think it possible to develop genuine feelings for someone you only know from online? (I have seen his photos and he has seen mine.) So (at least from my side) I can say the attraction is not purely mental but also physical. And I am rather certain I am not being cat-fished because I have seen him on live video streams (I was just too shy to show the interior of my own home, for reasons mentioned above).

What do you think?

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86% Normal
Based on 14 votes (12 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • Somenormie
    2 years ago

    Go ask him out.

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  • farkelu
    2 years ago

    I know exactly how you feel. I'm falling in love with a woman that I met on an international dating site. Based on all of our interactions and her photos, she's the most amazing woman I've ever met in my life. But be aware - sometimes meeting in person can shatter all of your expectations. And can lead to quite a letdown and even depression. Try to go into it with an open mind.

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  • hauntedbysandwiches
    2 years ago

    Normal but before you meet in person, PLEASE do video. You can't even be sure who you're talking to online without video.

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  • [Old Memory]
    2 years ago

    Normal, cute.

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  • olderdude-xx
    2 years ago

    It's entirely normal to meet your mate in an activity group. That happens more often than it happens from dating sites.

    I met my wife on the internet... and we're at the 9 1/2 year married mark and love each other very much.

    However, I also met about 100 other people on the internet first that turned out mainly to be "Zeros" when we met in person (what they were like on the internet was vastly different than what they were in person). There were a few other decent ones, which did not work out long term.

    The above numbers do not count the thousand plus scammers who wanted to get money out of me.

    So, yes it can work. It has for many.

    But, be cautious and be aware that you will have no real idea until you start to spend time with them - and that is more than a few dates.

    Also, if they ask for money to help with anything... or ask for your bank or CC information so they can "deposit money"... Cut the conversation and run away as fast as you can. That's a scammer (and you will not believe how real the stories they can make up... "my car broke down and I need money to fix it so we can meet" and many other variations. Politely tell them that you're willing to reschedule when they have their car fixed.

    Just so you know... My advanced response to things like that is: OK, where do you live; and which auto shop is good. Tell me the details of your car and the problem (if they have not told me the problem yet); and I'll call that shop and arrange for me to pay for the repairs (charged directly to my CC). You would not believe how mad they get... and I've yet to pay anyone to fix anyone's car (or anything else) from all the stories.

    I wish you well with this. I hope they are genuine and that you can at least have a real romance...

    If that works out... then I hope that the two of you find common interest and activities (other than drinking and sex) so you can build a future together.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      2 years ago

      Wow that is lovely! I'm happy for you! And thank you for the advice!! I'll definitely try to be cautious.

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  • Bulgae
    2 years ago

    Two years is a pretty long time, I think it would be nice if you two met up and see how you guys go with meeting in real life, who knows you guys could grow even closer and have a lot of fun.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      2 years ago

      Thank you!

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  • 1WeirdGuy
    2 years ago

    Totally normal. You meet some interesting ppl on the internet.

    Why you scared to show your interior tho is ur house ugly or something?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      2 years ago

      Thank you for the feedback. It's just that I have never done this before and I am unsure of if this is safe. When dating offline, normally I do not invite a guy to my place on the first date. Yes, I have known (about) this guy for 2 years now. But we still haven't even been on one date. I do not want to give him the wrong idea. This connection we have already feels so strangely intimate. I wanted to meet up with him in real life, in a public place, to actually start normally dating. All this internet business... doesn't feel right to me.

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