I make a calendar error, apologise, and he doesn't acknowledge. iin?

It's Grunewald again.

Guy I thought had dropped me to go live a 7-hour flight across the Atlantic and wouldn't respond to my texts turned up in church again miraculously, by the way. He didn't respond to my astonishment with much of an explanation. He asked me out for a coffee after church again and got me to ditch my friend who had invited me to lunch at Subway with her just to go alone with him, then when our usual coffee shop was shut, we walked along and got a soft drink from the supermarket, and I refused to let him pay for me like he had last time because he had already done it once and I didn't want it to become a habit. We found another café but he decided he didn't want to go after all, and just left me there and went home on his own instead. I was utterly floored. I apologised to my friend afterwards and she and I had lunch, so there was no love lost on that front. But it was all so weird with that guy.

I tuned into his Facebook live interview show in the week. It was with two guests, speaking on a subject that I specialise in but he knows little about. He wasn't careful about concealing his ignorance and made an embarrassment of himself in front of the guests. I had been going to call him rather than text, but after he had made me ditch my friend for a coffee date with him then abandoned the coffee date, I figured that he might just not be that into me anymore, so I thought I'd text something polite instead. I said that his guests were fascinating and that his hair looked nice. Queue love bombing because I had complimented his hair. I seriously had no idea he cared so much about his appearance. The extent of the love bombing was weird, too.

Later that week, I arranged to meet up at an event in town with him, and accidentally said it was 'tomorrow' when I had meant the day after. He turned up and nobody was there. I tried to call him to applogise. No answer. I did a voice message and sent a few texts. Still no answer. I texted him the next day. Still no answer. I texted him the day after that then immediately deleted it because I didn't want him to feel harassed...

I don't get it. It's in my nature to be bad about remembering dates and times - I often forget what day it is and have little sense of time passing, and I have got myself in the most awful situations because of this weakness. Heaven help him if I ever became his steady girlfriend: he would have to deal wth my calendar mess-ups all the time!

But was what I did really, really awful? Could it be perceived that way? I feel heartbroken. This time his wordless disappearance hurts even more than last time. I bet he's found another girl.

What do you all think? Please help me through this broken heart. I don't know if I should just stop holding out hope for him.

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 3 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • I don't think what you did is that big of a deal. Especially considering the lengths you went to apologise.

    I would forget about him. It sounds like he's messing you around and not great at communicating. Even if you did become his girlfriend, it would probably be a massive headache over instances like this one. Too complicated.

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  • You don't know what's happening with him... why do you always assume you did something wrong?

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  • He sounds too flaky. He doesn't sound like someone you could depend on.

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