I made Donald Trump win
A few months ago I went to a Trump rally with some friends just out of morbid curiosity, they made a bet with me and I accepted. I was so worried about losing that I looked up an online ritual website, and proceeded to try one out. So I printed a picture of Donald Trump and jizzed on it, one day later, Hillary's e-mails had been leaked and I got a letter from, who guessed it, Mr Donald Trump, thanking me for helping him win. The elections are now over and I have won 50 dollars.