I'm obsessed with everywhere at the end of time?

I'm obsessed with this album called "Everywhere at the end of time", by The caretaker, which is a 6 hour long album composed of ambient, old-world music spliced together with chopped up samples of the melodies, with added vinyl crackling, droning, and other effects. It has 6 different stages, which are supposed to represent the different stages of dementia. The music starts off nice and normal enough, albeit a little eerie or giving off an uneasy, but nostalgic and comforted at the same time feeling, but as you go through the album, the tracks get more and more messed up as you go along, till the melodies become unrecognisable.
So anyway I have listened to this whole album about 3 times the whole way through already. It just makes me feel sort of at peace. I didn't go in listening to it for any ulterior motive than to just listen, and although the music can be very depressing and instils a sense of dread, hopelessness, and forgotten dreams, it also brings me a sense of comfort and I feel this album is almost like a comfort blanket. Although the album is first and foremost, an auditory representation of dementia, I also attribute my own feelings to the tracks while I am listening, (since there are no vocals) and I feel like it perfectly, kind of "gets" me in a way, like it feels like it's expressing how I feel with a lot of hopelessness and despair in my personal life.
However, it has also made me more aware of dementia and how it affects people, and made me really think about and empathise with a couple of people I know who may be suffering from it, like my elderly neighbour and the nice old woman from across the road (when I lived at my old house) it reminds me to cherish the moments I spend with them and to treat them with kindness. It must be hell to live through.
But I thought since most people don't listen to this album for pleasure, and they only listen to it maybe once for the "experience." But I listen to it because I like it, even listening the whole way through. The first time I listened to it the whole way through was like back in june, and it fucked me up mentally and I felt quite depressed for a while afterwards. But when I listened to it again more recently, it made me more endeared to this album and now I just listen to it all the way through probably every week or whenever I feel like it. I also recently discovered another similar album by the same person, called "An empty bliss beyond this world." These two albums perfectly encapsulate how I feel a lot of the time, like I share something in common with this music, I can't put it into words, and I listen to them especially when I feel sad. And so, I made this meme:
Them: How depressed are you?
Me: I listen to EATOT for fun.
And with that, is it normal that I listen to EATOT for pleasure? If you haven't already, you should go listen to it. It's something.

Is It Normal?
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  • yeah, i also have a huge interest in the project and things related to it. unfortunately the music really scares me tho

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    • I forgot to mention, I'm also thinking of making my own project inspired by it, to represent a problem I have and suffer with that nobody else really understands. I already came up with all the stages and the track titles... Now how to make the music. Lol

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      • that’s a really nice way to vent your frustrations and try to get people to understand your pain. i wish you luck

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