I'm not sure if i believe in god but i want to seek after him

Yes it’s normal. I think it’s calf agonist, when they’re in the middle of not and believing (I may be wrong)

I also want a real encounter but I believe in him. Most people who are truely in faith do encounter him, or get a special message. I just suggest you go to church, read the bible, and get closer a connection. He speaks to all.

And most people end up not believing in him and regaining it at some point. I don’t judge you, and I understand how you feel.

Your desire to seek God is God desiring you. You are answering Him.

It’s normal to want there to be a god. But you have to ask yourself if there’s enough proof in your eyes to believe it it. There are plenty of good things Jesus said in the Bible but there are bad things too. The problem with religion is that every person nit picks only parts that they already agree with and then act like the rest didn’t happen. Either all of it happened or none of it happened.

Mankind invented God to explain the unexplainable of the times. We now have science and logic.

You're born you live you'll die just like any other life form no matter how tiny (think bacteria) to the largest such as elephants and blue whales.

Are you trying to find out whether there are rational, logical reasons to believe in the existence of god and the truth of Christianity, or are you reevaluating your religious identity by exploring your feelings, intuitions, and desires?

Throughout history and in all cultures, people who have signed up to a particular religious club and those who don't follow any particular creed or teacher have sought a transcendent experience. We'd all like to believe that this life is not all there is, and the body we inhabit is not all that we are. So what you want is normal, in the sense that many people feel that need.

Established religions are not very keen on people who want to experience God for themselves. If someone believes they have a direct line to the divine, why should they listen to what preachers say, do what they're commanded to do, and put money in the pockets of the men who are supposedly God's emissaries on Earth?

What I find amusing about truly devoted Christians, Muslims, Hindus and the members of every other religious gang is that they each are convinced beyond all doubt that their way is the only correct to understand God. Clearly, they can't all be right, and simply declaring that everything allegedly said by a guy who supposedly lived in Palestine a couple thousand years ago is the Absolute Truth doesn't make it so.

If you want to talk to God, I think that's a fool's errand, but it's your life, so on you jolly well go. Just don't expect me to listen with much respect to what you believe He has told you, and try to hold on to the idea that you might be deluding yourself, and everything the voice in your head says might be utterly wrong.

One final thing: people your age who feel the need you do are prime targets for all sorts of manipulative groups who want to exploit your desire to find the True Meaning of Life. Don't think for a moment that you're too intelligent and savvy to fall for something like that. Cults know how to push buttons and appeal to the desire many people have to feel that they belong to something bigger than themselves, that they are important as individuals, and that the cosmos has a plan for them. Just look at how many intelligent, highly educated, professional people were sucked in by the Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh and still sign up to the lunacy that is Scientology.