I'm dead + rotting

I've talked about this before, twice actually. Nothing has gotten better, I still reek of rot and decomposition and my skin is molded or bruised most days. It comes and goes. I'm banned from playing football altogether now until I "get sorted out"

There's no way I can be rotting this long and still be alive, I think I'm dead and my neurons and heart is firing just enough to keep my conscious alive while my body is dead. I'm practically a zombie. My organs have rotted away and my skin is falling off or molding up yet every fucking person around me acts like I'm fucking fine and that I am the only one who can see the shit that's happened to me.

I haven't eaten for a week because I don't have to. I feel my abdomen hurt, but I think the pain is in my head because my stomach has disintegrated. I shaved my head so I wouldn't have to watch my hair fall out. I gave up on trying to explain it to my friends and my girlfriend just broke up with me over it. I'm not sick, I can't be sick, I'm dead.

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Based on 30 votes (4 yes)
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Comments ( 31 )
  • Captainsay

    Google Cotard Syndrome. It sounds textbook Cotard Syndrome. It is a mental illness in which you believe you are dead, certain organs have disintegrated, or that you are putrifying.

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    • I know what Cotards Syndrome is but I'm not crazy and that's for crazy people. I'm fully conscious and aware of everything it's my body that's not okay.

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      • Captainsay

        It doesn't mean you're crazy. A mental illness does not automatically label you as crazy. It is no worse than someone having a cold or a flu. It is a series of symptoms that point to an illness of some sort. it wouldn't hurt to try, a phychiatrist (NOT psychologist) is a trained and licensed MÉDICAL doctor, they have gone to medical school and trained in other things, which means physical ailments they may also be able to see and point you to other medical practitioners that can help.

        There is a stigma following any idea of a mental illness. A mental illness doesn't mean anything other than you have an illness that needs to be treated - it's okay to reach out. Hell, it might at least knock something off your list of possibilities.

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  • yasss

    see a doctor, see a doctor,see a doctor,see a doctor,see a doctor,see a doctor,see a doctor,see a doctor,see a doctor,see a doctor,see a doctor,see a doctor,see a doctor,see a doctor,see a doctor,see a doctor,see a doctor,see a doctor,see a doctor,see a doctor,see a doctor,see a doctor,see a doctor,see a doctor,see a doctor,see a doctor,see a doctor,see a doctor,see a doctor,see a doctor,see a doctor,see a doctor,see a doctor,see a doctor,see a doctor,see a doctor,see a doctor,see a doctor,see a doctor,see a doctor,see a doctor,see a doctor,see a doctor,see a doctor,see a doctor,see a doctor,see a doctor,see a doctor,see a doctor,

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  • SpookyPancake

    Look dude, you probably have something up in your head. Maybe it's Cotard Delusion, maybe it's brain damage.

    But, it doesn't make you "crazy".

    See, crazy is loaded word. It's derogatory, but it refers to a state of illness. And we can see what this stigma does - you react to people saying "go to a psychiatrist" with "it's for crazy people, I'm not crazy".

    There is no shame in being ill. I can only imagine how terrifying it would be to see your body rotting away. It's not any better just because "it's in your head". It's worse, because, as you said, people are leaving you over it. Another example of how much damage the "crazy" label can do.

    If you were rotting in real life to the degree you describe, you would be long dead and/or people would notice. Think about it. Focus on this thought when you look at your body. It might be scary, it might invoke cognitive dissonance, but please, attempt to fight it.

    Take good care of yourself. Please, eat regularly, wash yourself, get enough sleep.

    And go to the psychiatrist.

    I know it's scary beyond what most people who throw words like "crazy" and "psycho" can understand.

    Get help. Please. For your own sake.

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  • RobHavisham

    Look, eventually, you're going to have to come to one of three conclusions:
    1. Every single person you talk to and show this issue to is lying to you.
    2. The symptoms are real but you are the only person who can perceive them and everyone else except you experiences the delusion that you are alive and well.
    3. You are experiencing a delusion consistent with cotard syndrome.

    Chances are, everyone you know is not lying to you, nor are they experiencing mass hallucinations.

    And as for the "I'm not crazy" argument,
    1. How would you know? Delusions are indistinguishable from reality. That's kind of their whole schtick. As a result, the person least qualified to speak to whether or not an individual experiences them is the individual in question (that's you in this case). If you are seeing visual signs of decay on yourself that no one else is seeing, it might be time to take a hint. If doctors saw nearly any of the symptoms you described, you would be in crisis care at a hospital right now. There's a reason you aren't.

    2. Look, from the way you react to comments on here and the fact that you refused to see a psychiatrist, it seems to me like the problem here is that you think that if you are experiencing delusions, something is lesser about you. Like there's some kind of "normal or crazy" dichotomy. Here's the thing, though: there​ isn't. Just like arthritis or high blood pressure or cancer, delusions are things that just happen to humans sometimes. Some folks get them from head trauma, some from chronic mental illness, some from extreme hunger or need to sleep, and some never get them at all. You wouldn't walk into a doctor's office complaining about pain and refuse to be tested for arthritis, would you? Why would you do the same here?

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  • Murun

    I don't think you're crazy but I think you maybe have some brain damage causing the delusion.

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  • RoseIsabella

    You're delusional, and in need of psychiatric care.

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    • No, I'm not. And no, I don't. What I need to know is why I'm rotting and why no one believes me and if anyone else has had this happen or knows anything more about it

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      • RoseIsabella

        If you insist. Then I shall have to switch gears.

        Nice trolling, attention starved wannabe zombie.

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  • EuphoniumLizz

    Have you ever suffered a head injury? If only you seem to notice then its probably in your head. Seek help.

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    • Like a year ago a rock cracked my skull and I had a bunch of dirt and debris that hadn't to be cleaned out. I've assumed that's what started the rotting.

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      • EuphoniumLizz

        Alright you have suffered some permanent damage here. If I were you I would go to a neurologists and get you head on a physical level checked. Also go to the doctor and get a physical and blood tests to rule out anything else. Then you need to get psychological help. Brain damage can lead to all sorts of problems and going to a psychologist does not mean you are crazy.

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        • I can't afford any more medical visits. I just need someone to believe me and treat me for what I have, not just tell me I'm crazy and that I have to get over it.

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          • EuphoniumLizz

            Then those doctors are quacks. Look if you are rotting then sooner or later you will just die. There's no stopping it. Find a real doctor get real help you need it despertly. Have a nice day.

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  • dirtybirdy

    Parasites. Always parasites.

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    • You think? I've been worried about parasites because I feel my skin crawl sometimes. Should I try to get some out to prove to them that I'm not crazy? How do I get to them if they're under my skin?

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      • dirtybirdy

        Yes, i watch 'monsters inside me"...

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  • exmovere

    You're not crazy. Your perception is different from everyone else's. People tell me I'm crazy all the time. A psychiatrist/therapist can help your rotting flesh. You just have to describe it to them. Fuck the money. You need to resurrect yourself. All things are possible. You just have to believe.

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  • taylor_nabbers

    You're the only one who can fix yourself.

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  • TheMightyOz

    My cock is dead and rotting, in fact I think I'm starting to get a bit of gangrene on it. I showed it to the doctor. He confirmed that it it limp and worthless, but he said the gangrene is all in my head. The whole thing is pathetic.

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  • WhiteTile

    I thought that on shooms before, because I could tasted decay cause my teeth are rottinf mayne you should see a dentist

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  • yesnomaybeso

    Why does nobody say you are a troll?

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    • I've been having this problem for a while and it's been slowly progressing, for most people it's their second time speaking with me about all this. I don't know. I've been told I was lying before on it.

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      • yesnomaybeso

        So, if you really believe in it, why are you asking here? and not go to a doctor? like anybody could help you with that here

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        • I don't have the money for anymore doctor visits, and everytime I go they want to treat me mentally and not physically.

          In all honesty I'm just so exhausted with being called a liar and crazy everyday. Thought someone just might believe me or tell me something I haven't thought of yet.

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          • yesnomaybeso

            Well, if you were really dying, wouldnt that be a big thing? maybe they will treat you for free as long as you let them do some tests. after all, you're on in a million. billion. whatever, if you are dead but talking on here

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  • Reflections

    If your skin really is rotting, it would be a pretty rare condition that I'm afraid no one on this website could help you with. However, if anyone could help you with a medical issue, it would be your doctor. Maybe you could visit your doctor, to let him know what's been going on.

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    • I've tried but they wouldn't believe me. And you can only go to the university clinic a few times for free. I can't afford medical bills. All they did was ban me from playing football and threatened to put me in therapy if I didn't "get past it"

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  • HpyerFern

    Just go to a doctor. I really don't think you're skin is falling apart. Watch some Disney movies. Eat some cake. Watch some jackseipiceye or other youtubers. Stay calm. See a psychiatric even if you don't want to. It could help you out or it may not. Just give it a try. Take deep breaths. Try to get some sleep. Talk to your parents or gand parents. Tell them how you feel. I hope I could of been some help. Oh and have a great day 😊

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  • sarahJackson

    It's because you have lost your soul. You need to go on a journey to go find it. Once you find it you will notice some feeling that you haven't been able to experience due to being souless, and you will be be able to be free.

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