I'm afraid getting back into gaming will ruin my life

In the early years of high school I got and xbox 360 as a birthday present, at the time i was an A student with little to do other than homework. so I often threw myself into my work. Unfortunately a few of life's curve balls hit me and i was plunged into an oblivion of loneliness and distress. I began to throw myself into gaming, i bought dozens of games and accessories, so much so that I would save my lunch money to buy them causing me to look extremely skinny. I looked like a toothpick with a bad haircut and my grades were a failure, i had essentially hit rock bottom.

After that realization i pulled my self out of it and by the 11th grade, my grades were honor roll status. I didn't quit gaming though, i just played games at a healthy pace to keep my life entertaining while also subscribing to other things like TV and movies. I lived in my only little world and i like it. I listened to nobody but myself and that helped my ego exponentially. Presentations i put on were incredibly popular due to my ability to be smooth and totally oblivious to the fact that more than 30 people were staring at me. I just didn't give a dam (in a productive way) and that made me incredibly successful in most things social and risk oriented. If anything it was the renaissance of my life; good grades, entertained, a growing social life, and vision of a big world. Everything was working out.

Then by the 12th grade my gaming passion was practically dead, replaced by movies. I had made it a priority to get games out of my life to make sure that my grades were top notch and they were. The only problem was I wasn't as happy as i was the year before. I became incredibly self contentious. Became to depend on other people on advice for practically anything because i had no balls and depended on having people to hang out with cause i cared wayyyy too much about my social standing. I tried to replace what had been fulfilled with gaming by pursuit in relationships, friendships, and an even stronger social status. I only got the last. Instead, i was back-stabbed, betrayed, and ultimately rejected due to that betrayal. And tbh i deserved it because i was such a contrasting person from the way i was the year before.

Now i sit in front of my xbox staring at a game disk thinking of all the good times games have brought me having to make a decision about whether i should dive into a world that i'm afraid i won't be able to climb out of. Will i get back the optimism and joy that it brought me in the 11th grade or the misery and failure that it had given me in the 9th grade? Is my Fear to get back into gaming normal? have any of you experienced it before or are experiencing it now?

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 5 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • Destroy your xbox before it's too late. Get a hammer and smash it to pieces.

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    • Not a bad idea. let me find it. lol

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  • If you feel gaming has had an impact on your acedemic life, then just dont touch it , its ok to play for an hour or two, but dont get sucked in to it, focus on your studies,

    i love video games also, ive been playing since the days of genesis, but i still make time for friends and stuff

    I think overall motivation is key

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  • Then buy a PS4

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  • I love games but I was my happiest when I set aside just 45 minutes a day to whip some little peckers on COD.

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