I'm a christian with a huge sexual problem

It's true, I'm a Christian, saved by grace and I think I'm a vanishing species so to speak, because I don't know many people that profess Christ as their savior. I'm 50 year old man and I have a huge problem that I can't seem to overcome and I've been in the battle for most of my life, since way back in my teenage years.

I have homosexual desires that I act upon weekly and sometimes several times a weeks and almost daily at times. I have never sexually interacted with another man but I do fornicate (masturbate) with dildos and butt plugs almost daily.

I have never been married though, I yearn for a good Christian wife, thinking that will help to set me on the straight and narrow path I know I should be on. I sin and sin and sin and confess and confess and confess. I ask God to help me overcome and I've studied in depth everything the bible says about sexual sin and yet...

I know God's grace is amazing, but would like to know if it is normal for other Christian men to struggle with this same sin?

I feel as though I really need divine intervention in my life to help me overcome this.

Is It Normal?
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 34 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • All the stuff going on in the world I think god has bigger things to worry about then what you stick up your butt

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • if youre gay marrying a woman you arent really attracted to isnt going to solve anything. you will still have homosexual urges. the more you deny them the more they will persist.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • I haven't been denying them for many years and yet they persist and maybe I'm not really gay just lonely and confused. Maybe a good wife that is understanding would help

      Comment Hidden ( show )
  • I’m sorry you are having these difficulties. Unfortunately this is not a Christian website and you will probably not find very many in the comments. I’m female and don’t have the answer for you, but I do know that other Christian men struggle with sexual sins of all kinds, so you are not alone with yours.

    Regarding the homosexuality thing, It’s my understanding that men who marry a woman to try to fix that in themselves don’t succeed, so I wouldn’t advise that route unless you are truly attracted to women sexually.

    As you know, Christian denominations differ from each other at times in their views regarding homosexuality and sexual behavior outside of marriage. If there is no one you feel comfortable talking to within your denomination, maybe you could find a Christian counselor or pastor online to communicate with. Some of them are better prepared to deal with these issues than others. Or maybe better yet an online support group where you can discuss with other Christian men.

    I sympathize with your struggles. As Christians we are taught that Christ and all that He provides is enough. In the struggles of our lives, that can feel untrue at times. Hoping you find peace and victory.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • "As Christians we are taught that Christ and all that He provides is enough." We're not taught that. If we were, priests would be useless.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
        -
      • Jesus the Great High Priest
        14 Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. 15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
          -
        • Even though Jesus is the highest priest, that does not mean that the rest of the priests do not add anything.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
            -
          • I'm not sure what a priest could do to help me communicate better with God since: “There is one God and one mediator between God and men, the man Jesus Christ.” So... “If Jesus is our one mediator and I believe He is, then Christ alone mediates grace. In saying anyone else can, Catholics are usurping and thereby denying Christ’s singular role as mediator.

            Comment Hidden ( show )
              -
            • Jesus is indeed the mediator between humanity and God. However, priests are there to interact more directly with Jesus.

              Comment Hidden ( show )
          • I'm not a Catholic, but Catholics believe that the blessings of Christ may be imparted through priests. As far as I know, they believe that it is integral to the way God works, to use people as one of his main means of imparting his blessings to other people. For example, when people pray for each other, or help others who are in need, or achieve breakthroughs in fields of knowledge and technology that benefit humanity.

            There are of course many kinds of Catholics - just as there are many kinds of protestants. Including protestants who have an innate mistrust of Catholicism for historico-political reasons that have been passed down generations of believers and surfaced in various ways.

            Comment Hidden ( show )
  • If you marry a woman and don’t tell her about how you masturbate, she’s going to Be a very unhappy person. You need to find out how to make yourself happy before trying to include someone else.

    You’re not a “dying breed”. Being gay doesn’t make you any less devoted to your beliefs than a straight person.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • By "vanishing species" I simply meant Christian and that's the type of person I need to talk to about this, I do not have the courage to reveal this to anyone I personally know.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
        -
      • That’s unfortunate. You should have friends and family that will love you regardless of sexual orientation.

        Try looking up local LGBT support groups. Although I will worn you, there can be a tendency for them to be just as judgy.

        And just so you know, there’s a lot of people on here who have religious backgrounds but are not homophobic. Myself growing up there was a gay couple with a daughter in my Catholic Church. My gay sister still attends church and is loved very much by my religious parents.

        Maybe you are holding yourself back.

        Regardless, best of luck to you.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
      • Don't worry Christensen aren't going anywhere. People like to be told what they can and can't do. True freedom is an illusion

        Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Getting married to a woman is not going to solve you're problems . Matter of fact you're just going to add more problems in the mix .

    You want to change you're ways then stop doing what you're doing .
    Its that simple .
    You don't want to have sexual thoughts then change you're thinking . When you have that desire then think about something else . Start up a hobby like golf or swimming , or woodwork .

    If you think about sex then that's what you're going to want to do .
    Think about something else . Help out in the church . Keep you're mind busy .

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • You want to change you're ways then stop doing what you're doing .
      Its that simple ...Thanks for your advice, I never knew it was that simple, so since I've read your advice I can now be perfect, starting now, wait no I can't, life doesn't work that way or this would be a better world, but look around...or maybe just nobody wants to change their ways

      Comment Hidden ( show )
        -
      • You are making excuses you can change with Gods help .
        Not saying you will be perfect , no one is perfect but God .

        Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Would you stick things up your butt if Jesus was standing in front of you? There's your answer. He's always watching.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • If you're for real, talk to someone in your church whom you trust.

    Also, try a Christian counsellor.

    I have same-sex desires as a Christian and real-life contact with people in a non-sexual context really helps, whether they understand my condition or not. At the heart of everything is a desire to be known and loved, and to know and to love.

    Also - cliché as it is - prayer and Bible reading really are effective ways to commune with God. The touch of God is the most healing thing I know.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • I'm no Christian, but honestly if you like cock you like cock and you'll be happier for allowing your sexual urges to thrive. Suppressing those urges and trying to fake your love for a woman who you don't love will make both of you feel even worse.

    Get a new church if you must, but stop believing everything you hear your pastor say. There is no such thing as "gay conversion therapy".

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • The Scriptures have been badly translated for some time.
    Don't believe me?.. They even covered up the Most High's name - Yahuah & changed it to 'The LORD' some 7000x.
    The word 'Homosexual'diddn't exist in scriptural time.
    The Apostle Paul (Paulos) uses the Greek word meaning "Male-bed" which may actually mean rape/molestation & not "homosexual".
    Leveticus with " a man shall not lie with a man as with a woman" is an instance of a bad grammar rendering of ancient Hebrew.
    It should read- "A man and a man shall not sleep with a woman together"... Thats an orgy M/M/F.
    Two men with one woman in a threesome.
    Most of the passages saying homosexuality is a sin are completely either taken out of its original meaning, or are mistranslated.
    I personally don't think you are a sinner.
    Remember we are Yahusha the Anointeds bride.. He is our husband.
    Alot of straight men have sexual fantasies about him, but no other guy ever.
    It's normal.
    It's the world's best kept secret.
    But-plugs are not going (In my opinion) to get you into trouble.
    DO NOT MARRY A WOMAN UNLESS YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH THEM ROMANTICALLY & SEXUALLY!
    Because you & they themselves deserve better than to live a lie.
    It never ends well.
    Satan is the one who will try to get you to feel guilty & damned for being gay, or masturbating, not the Most High Yahuah our father!
    The enemy has messed with scripture and changed it to cause hate and confusion.
    You are loved by Yahuah & you are not wrong or unclean! He accepts you!
    Pray, and let our father guide you.
    Stay Strong
    ❤️

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Well at least you're owning it...and not blamming satan or his brew of demons over the behavior.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • You're not saved until your works catch up with your faith. Your constant fornication must be stopped and, until then, your confessions mean very little, especially if they aren't directed toward a priest.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • If we need to be perfect in our works before we can be saved, then heaven will forever be a lonely place, the bible tells us the truth on what we MUST do to be saved...That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
        -
      • Your repentance means nothing if you continue to do what you claim you feel sorry for doing.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
          -
        • If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. This is the reason it's called grace and we can never earn our way into heaven, also, The Law came in so that the transgression would increase; but where sin increased, grace abounded all the more. So if I need to be perfect on my own power, then I have no chance of going to heaven and neither does anyone else.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
            -
          • You don't need to be perfect. You just need to at least try to stop sinning. Your Lutheran attitude towards sin is not helping you much.

            Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Probably a troll, but that'd be kinda hot if you're a devout Mormon or some weird shit like that. Hopefully your Christian wife is into taking that 'straight and narrow path' with you.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • Nope on both counts, not a morman and not a troll, just a guy looking for help and trying to find a fellow Christian that has a similar problem that I may be able to talk to about it.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
Add A Comment