I know it's not normal, but i'm so clingy

Hi, please help me. I know this isn't normal and it's ruining my enjoyment of life. I love my boyfriend so much, almost too much. We've lived together for three years and though I dont let him see this side of me my heart breaks when I'm not with him. He has so many ambitions and wants and dreams and some of them dont include me. Like going to festivals alone and wanting to study in Sweden for two years. I want him to do those things and thats why it tears me apart that they upset me so much. I dont know how to be my own self. I dont WANT to do anything. I'm so depressed I feel like i'll die without him. I dont show him how clingy I am but I know I am and I'm losing myself and I can't stop it. I have no friends I have nothing. All I do is look forward to seeing him. I've tried to apply to do a masters or work abroad in a hostel but the truth is... I just dont want to.... someone please help me. I have no quality of life.

Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 12 )
  • itsace

    Honestly, I would try and find a hobby or just something you like to do, even a show. It’s good to find new interests, and that what is advise. Find something you love to do, and don’t stop looking until you find it. I know how it is to be at rock bottom, but you have to want to get back to the top

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Whatintarnation

    Making someone the center of your life leaves you open for an implosion if things dont work out. Having an actual life beyond your boyfriend is what you need to be working on. Sit down and really think about how you would like your life to look like in five years. Not just your relationship but friendships, job, etc. Then you'll have a goal to work towards. If things don't work out with Prince Charming at least you won't have your whole world wrapped up in him and feel absolutely suicidal if it turns to shit. Always have a plan B.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • 66pugs

    First of all it is normal. I've seen it many times in my life. They key is that you know you need to do something, and you've reached out. Well done. Now the funny and very fixable part is that you've kinda turned yourself into a puppy. You wait for him all day, then you're excited, then when he's gone you think about it too much. So that's your answer. Fill up your day with other things. Like the other poster said, find clubs and hobbys and you'll make other friends. Get out and be with other people. That will make both of you happy and it's important for your relationship.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • lordofopinions

    Huh....have you talked to him about your feelings? No one has mentioned that. Tell him you love him very much and you are worried you might lose him when he goes to Sweden. Is there a chance you could go with him? I'm going to assume you're a student so you may be able to continue your studies over there.

    You mentioned festivals that he goes to alone. Would these festivals be interesting to you? Does he have a reason for going alone? Something else to talk about.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Zeikfried

    I think I get where you're coming from. Seeking help means that you're quite aware of the problematic situation you're in. Making your SO the center of the universe is not the problem, but it's about you. You feel you have nothing in life and so it's easier to be around your BF and hearing about his ambitions makes it look like you've got a stake in his future. It's really depression that's stopping you from building your own life. It's not a problem you can solve on your own. Maybe check with a psychologist. Good luck with your life

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • RoseIsabella

    What you are describing is not love, but obsession, neediness and a fear of abandonment. What you need is to develop a stronger and more defined sense of self rather than letting your relationship status define you. If your sense of self identity is too weak you will feel like you are losing yourself and that you are almost nonexistent when you aren't with your boyfriend, and that's not good.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • IrishPotato

    My girlfriend is clingy and I love it.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • Zeikfried

      I think this is deeper than just clinginess

      Comment Hidden ( show )
        -
      • IrishPotato

        Yes I know, just wanted to mention it. Lol.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
          -
        • Zeikfried

          Oh come on stop showing off some of us are hurting insde XD

          Comment Hidden ( show )
            -
          • IrishPotato

            :'(

            Comment Hidden ( show )
  • cipro

    Depression. Take antidepressants.

    Comment Hidden ( show )