I hate my sister

I consider myself a "goody-two-shoes." My whole family is fairly conservative and all of my older sisters pretty much follow the rules, but I would say I do so the most. I don't swear, I plan to be abstinant til marriage, and I work hard to make top grades in school.

My older sister closest in age to me and I had been best friends when we were little. We played games and had inside jokes and traded back massages. Then our parents forced us to go to a private school that enrolled 7th-12th grade because they thought it would be a good experience. I hated every second of it. At my old school, I had tons of friends and did extremely well academically. But at this new private school, the other kids were shallow, image-obsessed, and, overall, fake, which I still believe them to be. I was struggling making friends, and this led to a drop in my grades. Consequently, I begged my parents to let me switch back to my old school in 9th grade, which they allowed.

My sister, however, flourished at private school. She had great friends, a cute boyfriend, thrived in sports, and made even better grades than I did. But as she became the 'perfect' daughter, she really turned into a secret 'wild child' (according to my standards). She swore, stayed out late, and even had sex with her boyfriend, all behind our parents back. One time, she even called me a b*tch to my face. Now remember, I'm the sheltered, innocent one. Never having been called a bad word in my life, my own sister called me a b*tch and brought me to tears. It was a concrete sign to me that she had changed. I could see it in her attitude and ways before, but now that she had called me that, I had more 'proof' that she had turned into another person.

I know she's my sister and I should love her, but she recently went off to college and I'm glad! I don't miss her one bit, and I lie when I tell her that I can't wait for her to come home. But when I do lie and smile and hug her when she comes home, I hate myself for being so fake, for sinking to her level. I see her as I saw the kids who went to that private school- hollow, showy, and a liar. I could accept that the other kids at the private school were that way, but to know that my own sister, my old best friend, had turned into one of them, still disgusts me. Everytime I look at her, all I can see is a fake, and I hate her for changing. Does this seem like a fair reason to hate her?

Is It Normal?
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 9 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • Don't hate her. It probably hurt you a lot to watch her go down the right path according to your standards but I don't think you should hate her and not want to see her. I don't know your past but to me you sound a little too sheltered and being called a bitch is not that big of a deal especially coming from your sister, and of she uses those words I'm sure she meant it 100% different than your sheltered self took it. Being sheltered I think is bad because I used to be sheltered. I think understanding what it's like in the real world is important but participating in it is a different story. But no, i don't think you should hate your sister for calling you a bitch or having sex before she was married.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Your upset because she actually stopped conforming to whatever setup your parents had laid out and started having a life?

    Maybe you should get a life too!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    • -
    • Well thats messed up. I have plenty of good friends and have good, clean fun. Just because I don't drink and have sex, I don't have a life?

      Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Yes this is normal. I have (kind of) the same issue. However I know that you do not hate her and I also know that you are most likely jealous of her. My sister was gone for a month and I admit I didn't miss her but I know of she died I would cry. I would be so upset and I am sure you would too. The fact that she did so well at private school while you didn't also makes me think jealousy. I know you won't want to admit it and neither do I but if I triely look t myself I know it is true.
    The thing I am concerned about is your wanting to be a super goody two shoes. It seems like you almost have some strange obsession. You shouldn't hate your sister because she believes in premarital sex (among a few other things) that just shows intolerance.

    This us probably not what you wanted to hear at all and you will probably deny it but that's up to you. :)

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • I know what you mean when you think you hate your older sister- I thought I hated my older sister as well a couple months ago. She's extremely smart (going to Yale next year) but extremely self-obsessed and stubborn. She is also very opinionated and will never accept any other opinions but her own. Not only that, but she also went to private school grades 9 through 12 while I will be going to the public school. She also become more obsessed with her appearance, came home later, and had sex with her boyfriend. Although you may find this intolerable, she's growing up. She tasted freedom and probably wanted more. Believe it or not, but children like to rebel against the opinions of their parents. Since your parents are conservative, she probably decided to be different from them. You can't blame her for changing as well- it was probably her private school experience among spoiled rich kids that led her to her current personality.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • I would say it is normal. I don't have any siblings but I have 2 adult children. They were very mean to each other. Also trying to convince me the other one is the bad child. After I saw through both their lies, I know both are not angels. But also good people. Your sister is caught up in appearances. That's all that matters to her right now. Hopefully she will grow up someday. You stay the way you are. Maybe your parents will see the light some day. Don't be fake with your sister. My kids were never fake with each other. They had many fights, but now get along great.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • I don't like my sister either but u need to loosen up

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Umm have you talked to ur parents? They might be able to help and comfort you.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • You know no one is perfect! You need to forgive her and maybe talk about it! I used to feel like I had to be perfect beacause my older sister was the wild, and my twin sister is handicaped and sometimes I still do. Then realise that's impossible to be perfect and I shouldn't compare myself to my siblings. There are plenty of things they have had to forgive me for so why shouldn't I forgive them? You should do the same and forgive her. Talk to her and/or your parents about it. I know once I talked to my mom she reassured me that I didn't have to be perfect. Every night I also try to point out atleat one wrong that I did; not to make myself feel bad, but so I can realise I make mistakes too! Your sister needs you and believe it or not you need her and believe me I know it's a lot easier said then done.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
Add A Comment