I feel worse about my body now i’m healthier

See a therapist, because your brain is in panic mode and you need someone who can talk you out of it.

You lost weight for the wrong reasons. You changed for your abusive boyfriend. He destroyed your confidence and your self image; now you're spiraling into a cycle of self-destruction.

You need to relax. Happy is what’s healthy.

You are disgusting.

It sounds like an eating disorder or the beginning of one to me. You should see a doctor before it gets out of hand.

Try to focus more on what you can do rather what you look like. If you work on lifting a certain weight or achieving a faster time or whatever, your body will improve as your performance improves. I lift weights and just focus on hitting a certain weight or amount of reps a few weeks in advance and I find that constantly working to improve my performance results in an improvement in my appearance as well without even thinking about it. I dont have to look in the mirror or step on the scale to know im getting in better shape, all I have to do is look at the numbers in my training log and know I'm doing better than I was previously and im doing a lot better than most other people just by making a start.

As long as your titties fit in my mouth. We are good!

I feel like this is a very controversial comment section.. lol

See all my comments elsewhere on this post and you can piece together my professional opinion lol.

1250 is a very small number of calories for a healthy person who works out to be consuming.

Maybe fasting and keto diet would work for you. That diet was so easy for me and I actually lost weight. If you dont eat carbs your blood sugar doesnt spike and fall so its easier to not eat. You can eat like 1 or 2 meals a day and feel fine. Your body runs off ketones and not glucose. You'll feel way different too. Its worth a try especially if you like high fat foods.

Its normal to feel bad about your body.