I feel very desperate for physical attention in my ld relationship.

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11 Comments

I've been with my boyfriend for around 4 years. all 4 years have been spent alone in my bedroom on skype. I find myself feeling very desperate for physical attention and affection and it's driving me insane. I fear my mental health is going down hill. I can almost feel him next to me when I know I'm alone and it feels so good till I realize I'm alone and being very pathetic. Has anyone experienced this loneliness or am I just alone here? I want to know how to cope with this.

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81% Normal
Based on 16 votes (13 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • Murun
    7 years ago

    Find someone who lives nearby. Humans are not designed to be able to see and hear people who we can't touch, so internet-only romance messes with the emotions.

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    • iamKitten
      7 years ago

      I promised him i wouldn't be the one to end it and i cant break that promise.. I love him and i can't hurt him. everyone i love is a world away from me and im no good at making new friends in person so i just talk to the people i already know even though they are far away. i really just dont attract people, even as a kid i never have so actually finding some one nearby is harder for me now because it's just really hard to talk to people without coming off as awkward or weird.

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      • Murun
        7 years ago

        That's fair enough. Have you any hobbies or interests through which you could meet more local people? I don't mean to replace your boyfriend, just to get some real human face-to-face contact.
        If you're shy or awkward, conversation with strangers is much easier with some subject in common. If you like art or music then get to some nearby gigs or exhibitions or whatever. Or sports if that's more your thing. If a 'new face' appears on a scene a couple of times it's not long before someone will talk to you. Humans are on the whole sociable creatures.
        Best of luck!

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  • satanniggasandpopsicle
    7 years ago

    Awww your not pathetic. You just really want the relationship and thats great :)

    Theres a girl I want too whos long distance. But I actually plan on being able to see her someday.

    I say dont give up.

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  • Cocomilktitties
    7 years ago

    The truth is that is does affect someone's mental health to be glued to and dependent on their computer for so long in order to feel that kind of affection. I was in a long distance relationship for about 4 months and it felt like I was going insane. Especially once things started to not go so well...

    It's incredibly lonely. Once you realize that you really are just having a relationship with the computer, it really sucks. The constant checking of text messages, being anxious for the next time the person will skype you... it sucks. I'm not saying not to do it, but I think you have to be careful and also be sure of what you want.

    If you KNOW that you will get to meet the person, then maybe it's worth it. But if meeting the person is questionable or not in the near future at all, then personally, I don't think it's worth it. It will only make the break up that much harder if it happens. Getting adjusted back to the "real" world after that is difficult.

    But to answer your question a little better, it is normal to feel that way about a long distance relationship and I would say the best way to cope with it is to get outside and live your own life. Get involved with some hobbies or something or sports. Try to not make the relationship the center of your life. Think of it as like being "on hold"... like it's a promise of hopefully meeting the person one day and having a real relationship, but right now it's just some conversation with someone you hope to meet soon.

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    • iamKitten
      7 years ago

      i've met him a few times. but i think that just makes it worse because in those moments i feel so willing to give up everything just to stay and i know i cant do that. our relationship has actually been the center of my life because if it's not, he gets depressed and thinks i will leave him. sometimes i wish i could leave him but i'd be giving the most important person in my life away to another woman

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      • Cocomilktitties
        7 years ago

        That's a tough situation, but you said you're in high school, right? You still have so much ahead of you. My advice to you would be to not put all your eggs in one basket for him. You said you're going to not go to college for him? If I were you, I would really think that through. Don't do anything that you would regret years down the road.

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        • iamKitten
          7 years ago

          i originally didn't want to go to college anyway and yeah im in high school. when i am with him i feel loved and i have a sense of certainty as to where my life would go after high school. with out him im unsure and almost feel as though there would be no point in "sticking around" in life if im having no purpose or goals that i care about. right now my goal is to finish high school and be with him to help him finish college and go on from there. and if he still loves me in the end then nothing will be regretted but if he doesn't then i can say that i didn't know it would really turn out that way.

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  • crygypsy
    7 years ago

    My bf is a commercial fisherman and I get to see him on Monday for the first time in 2 months! That's not a terribly long time so I can only imagine how you must be feeling. Can you somehow ever see him? Where does he live? Tell him he has to make it happen to continue the relationship and that you love him but you need his physical affection as well. Maybe you could both save money together for a trip. Spend as much time as you can when you visit.

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    • iamKitten
      7 years ago

      he's in NY im in CT. we meet every 4-6 months because thats all his family will allow. if i told him we'd have to end it he'd probably have a melt down because he's completely submissive to his father and doesn't stand up for himself when his dad controls him and basically verbally abuses him. he wouldn't change anything and i feel like thats a little cowardice on his part because im doing what he wont do. I'm going to not go to college so i can move out there after i graduate, i've only got like 19 more months till i do grad and then im moving out but when i gave him the opportunity he said no because his verbally abusive father who doesn't even like him would disapprove.. im babbling im sorry lol

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      • crygypsy
        7 years ago

        I would say that if you are going to make this huge sacrifice and leave your home town for him (and your family) that he needs to definitely be helping you financially and you guys need to have your own place. That being said, you will both need to have jobs and find somewhere to rent probably. (Unless his family has a decent sized house and somewhere to stay) but I highly doubt you would feel comfortable there with his father being that way and I wouldn't recommend it. I tried staying with my bfs father for the summer while he was gone fishing and it didn't work out because he was very passive aggressive and not the friendly type.

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