I feel like i can’t fall in love with a person. is this feeling normal?

Okay I’m 18 and I just started college. So basically I have liked guys attractive and have liked guys from afar like celebrities or people I have never talked too but I have never liked someone for their personality in a romantic way. Like the guys I would have crushes on, I had this fake idea of who they were and I thought I was in love with their perosnality but I just ended up making up who I thought they were. I just don’t understand what it feels like to fall in love with someone’s personality I guess. I’m gay and in the closet so I’ve never dated but I’m just scared I’ll never be in a true relationship because I feel like I’m incapable for falling in love with someone. The relationship would just end up feeling like a friendship. Does anyone have any advice?

Is It Normal?
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  • You’re only 18, relax. Most people (contrary to what teen media wants you to believe) have not really been in love at 18.

    Having a crush on someone you don’t really know is completely normal.

    In terms of not falling for a guy’s personality you seem to be beating yourself up over not having chemistry with the relatively small number of age-appropriate guys you have been exposed to.

    Again, just relax, if it happens it happens and if it doesn’t there’s more to life, not to mention a lot more time for these things given how young you are.

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  • First of all, you are still very young. Chances are very high you have not met someone you can fall in love with, as many people your age have also not experienced true love yet.

    Also, what you're describing is infatuation, which is very common and normal. Many crushes consist of people making up an idealized version of a person in their head and "falling in love" (or at least what feels like it to them) with that person, who doesn't really exist. A lot of people actually mistake it for love and this is a big part of why the divorce rate is so high and so many relationships fail, so you're very fortunate that you can tell the difference and recognize it in yourself.

    I've honestly never felt "in love", either, and I'm 25. I think there's so many people in the world, and it takes quite a bit to find someone who you really "click" with in a way that you'd actually fall in love with them, especially if it's true love and not infatuation. I think it is something that just has to happen naturally.

    If you do end up dating someone and it ends up just feeling like a friendship rather than being in love, that is normal and the vast majority of people do not stay with their first partner forever. It sometimes takes some trial and error to find the right match for you, and there's no shame in that. However, just do what feels right for you and follow your gut.

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  • Be patient for someone's personality you can fall in love with

    If you like anime, check out Inuyasha; over 400 episodes of the two main characters *falling* in love, it really puts dating and love in perspective

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  • I’m the same, most people don’t fall in love like on tv. Just find a friend who you can also fuck and that’s basically a relationship.

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  • *eyeroll

    You’re 18.

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  • Love is not like the movies. You don't know you even love them until you almost lose them. Then you freak out and realize it

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