I feel bad about being kinda mean to a girl when i was 7

92% Normal
8 Comments

When I was little I was friends with this girl. Looking back, she wasn't a very good friend. Then we started hanging out with another friend, who started to be mean to her and got me to follow along.
I know now that I have autism, which is why I followed along: because I didn't understand what I was doing. Actually I didn't do everything and I am getting a confused idea of what I actually did.
When the girl moved school, all this was pushed to the back of my head and I didn't think about it.

But then I had this one dream about it. And now I feel really bad for it. She has probably forgotten me, because I saw her earlier after she moved school out with a group of friends. Sometimes I forget for hours at a time and I don't feel bad. But then I have a dream that makes it all come back and I feel terrible.

What can I do to feel better? Is it normal to feel like this when I have a confused idea of what actually happened?

Voting Results
92% Normal
Based on 13 votes (12 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 8 )
  • rayb12
    6 years ago

    Think about the thousands of life experiences she has had. She is not a weak victim and surely has other things she cares about. In truth your guilt like all guilt is about you and not her. The best you can do is forgive yourself so you can be the best version of yourself in the present.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • RoseIsabella
    6 years ago

    I think it's normal and healthy for one to feel righteous shame about the wrongs one has done. However, I don't think it's normal or healthy to let that guilt or shame consume you. Is there any way that you could make amends and or try to extend an apology to this girl?

    I hope this doesn't sound too super weird, but I was thinking you could try to release this thing from yourself if it's super inconvenient or awkward to approach this person. Try to compose a letter of written apology to this girl in which you admit and take responsibility for what you did wrong and then apologize and ask for her forgiveness. You wouldn't have to send it to her, but instead you could take your written amends, go out to a peaceful place in nature, pray and meditate about it then either tear up or burn the letter and afterwards you could either bury the remnants or cast the ashes the wind. As you do all of this just remind yourself that your releasing all your bad feelings to the universe, that you're choosing to let go of it all.

    Also, try to cultivate a mindset in your head that you'd be willing to make an apology directly to her if the right opportunity ever presented itself.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • Animal_Johnson
      6 years ago

      A girl was very mean to me when I was seven. So many years later, I found her address on the Internet, and had nudist magazines mailed to her house. At least it gave me a bit of closure.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      3
      3
        -
      • RoseIsabella
        6 years ago

        Good job!

        >:-)

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
    • Kittykatz3663
      6 years ago

      Thanks for the advice :) but I have her older sister's email, and I don't really want to write an apology this way. Is that wrong?

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • RoseIsabella
        6 years ago

        Nope, there's nothing wrong with not wanting to write an apology in such a way. However, I do think it helps to write stuff down just to get it out, then later burn the paper. It might sound weird, but it's helped me in the past.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
          -
        • RoseIsabella
          6 years ago

          No, that's fine. If you're a Roman Catholic like me you could go to confession to get this mess off your chest, but if your not there's other stuff you can do. You can write a letter of apology to her, pray and meditate about your feelings and then eventually destroy the letter.

          My two above suggestions are about helping you find peace and serenity within yourself for now.

          No big deal, just a couple of additional suggestions.

          I hope you're feeling better now.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
  • Rayal
    6 years ago

    Memory over time eventually will fade especially when you are just a child. However, if you become obsessed with a memory and keep going back to it, eventually it becomes ingrained into your thinking. Its a mental exercise but when it pops into your mind, immediately think of another subject or choose something you like thinking about. Doing that will train your brain away from those childhood thoughts and onto better productive thoughts.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0