I don't want to share my umbrella

The other day I was walking on a sidewalk under my umbrella as it was drizzling. Then this random dude rushes towards me and squeezes in under my umbrella and starts having small talk with me, small talk I didn't give a rat's bottom about.

I felt uncomfortable the entire time he was with me under the umbrella. All the while I was trying to think of an excuse to help me part ways with him ASAP. To be honest, I vaguely recall a thing he said, but I can recall that I wanted to push him off the sidewalk every time he laughed at something he had said that he thought funny. How could he not notice that I wasn't interested in his bluh..bluh..bluh..? Or that I was walking 'unrealistically' fast so I could lose him? Oh God.

Eventually we arrived at a side road which I turned towards praying that he would continue along the main road. As luck would have it, dude kept main street-bound, much to my joy. Yes, that's how much I hate sharing my umbrella.

Is this normal, or I'm just being a self-absorbed muthafucker?

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 8 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • This has literally happened to me before, only with a girl, and I just beat the shit out of her with my umbrella. I was like 14, don't worry.

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    • LOL, you must've been bad news back then.

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  • You're holding the umbrella just slightly tilt it so the water pours off the edge on to the other person. They'll leave!

    Truthfully, I'm not much of an umbrella fan I'd rather walk in the rain especially if it's just lite rain I even ride my bike in the rain.

    Plastic bag a change of clothes and enjoy the rain.

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    • I used to enjoy running home from school in the rain (light or heavy) when I was still in elementary school.

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      • Why do we have to grow up?

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        • Man, I know that I try hard to satisfy my childhood cravings, given I'm an independent person.

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  • You should have asked him about his extended warranty, or student loans.

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  • You're not self absorbed. You don't have to share that shit if you don't want to. That dude should've asked you first before assuming he could leech off you.

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