I don't enjoy drawing but i still wanna do it

This might be hard to understand but it's what eats me up inside. I used to enjoy drawing as a kid but then I quit because I thought I wasn't talented and therefore will never be a real artist. For 14 years I lamented quitting art. I try to console myself by repeating the mantra of "I can't draw, there's no use trying" and this year I decided I had enough and tried again. It hurts. I'm awful, worse than ever. Toddlers draw better than me. It makes me so anxious and stressed out, and I've had several people tell me to just quit because if I'm not having fun, it's not for me. But I don't want to quit. I want to draw. It hurts me, but I want to do it so bad. No matter how much it hurts, it hurts more to not do it. I speak from experience.