I don’t want people to care about me

First of all, this is my first post here so sorry if I do something wrong, it’s a simple site but I still don’t really get how it all works.

Anyway, today I just wanted to know if anyone else feels like this. I don’t know why, but I don’t like being cared about. As a child I remember I would always hate my family praising me and so when I achieved something, I would hide it so that they wouldn’t start praising me about it (it sounds really weird, I know). When something is wrong, or when I’m upset I never tell anyone, because I know what their reaction will be: they’ll feel sorry for me and tell me that they’re there for me and that they care about me. And honestly, for some reason I don’t like the fact that everyone cares about me. At least, that’s what I think. I don’t know what it is but there’s lots of other things wrong with the way I think, and honestly I’m not going to go into them here.

I’m just wondering if anyone else hates being cared about, and I just want an honest opinion. Thanks.

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 15 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • I'd prefer to have nobody care about me, mainly because I don't know how to reciprocate affection properly.
    It makes me uncomfortable but one day you'll be glad that there are people who care for you, try not to push them away.

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  • When someone cares about you, you unfortunately have a responsibility to look after youself for them. This is what you don't like. Having to love youself so that they can keep on caring about you. I hope I said that right. I feel this same way.

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    • Yeah it's like they love you so much that you can't do anything wrong even with yourself coz they make you feel "what will happen to them if I die"(not that I am saying I wanna die just couldn't get any better metaphor at the moment) as you have to care for them & love them back as much as they love & care about you

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    • Thank you, I think you might be right :)

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  • I understand you.
    You're a grown up man and you don't want to be treated like a toddler.
    One day I'll have my own kid(or adopt one) and I will treat him/her like a grown up.

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  • Yup nothing is wrong with your thinking sometimes I feel the same,it irritates me when my mother praises me on my good grades or any other achievements may be that's the reason I don't tell her about my feeling as she will say "we are here for you"

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  • I personally hate when I am treated this way, but in a childish manner. When people act like I am a stupid kid and praise me that way, which makes me feel like I am retarded or something, like "wow you so great such a smart boy you are for passing the year". I really despise this and my mom used to do it until she noticed the massive anger I try to prevent from errupting as a response so she became aware and attentive to this.

    Instead, I prefer being praised for very hard achievements in a different way. For example I am happy when a university lecturer praises me for extra efforts on teaching some younger students a course by noticing the abilities I have in Mathematics. I would also enjoy a person with a high status such as a leader praising me for some really outstanding results or remarkable acts. Especially when people are critically analyzing me and praising me for genuine merits, instead of some shitty stuff everybody can do.

    And also being on point matters when being praised. Not shit like "you are great" but instead "you demonstrated strong abilities of handling pressure" or "your leadership skills and flexibility are evidenced by the impressive results in your project". I want people to tell me exactly why I am being praised and especially I want smart people to praise me. This is the only praise that really makes me fulfilled and satisfied. Otherwise I feel it's fake and usual conversation that bores me and drains me of energy.

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  • Understandable.

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  • Thanks everyone for all the comments and support, it’s good to know that lots of people understand & feel the same way :)

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