I disdain fellow men who take patriarchy too far

There’s a way we tend to think that the Patriarchy is our friend. Homeboy, It isn’t. It is mean and disloyal and pretends to offer privilege but under scrutiny, this privilege turns out to be a backhand pimpslap.

For one example, let’s look at cooking.

Men being equally human to women, have equal alimentary canals and equally require food, preferably cooked and delicious.

Patriarchy decided that we should not cook and left us to rely, even though we have the same capacity to deploy hands and gas and fridges, on someone else to cook for us.

When we were children this made more sense, but look at us now, grown adults who still don’t want to feed our own selves?

We are compelled to use our hands to tweet bile at the women who don’t come to our kitchen’s to do onions and tomatoes on our behalf.

Patriarchy is a pimp. It is going to play you whether you are the hoe or the trick (trick, or mark, is the term for customer. Apologies for the fact that I just reduced your moral status by making you one of those people who now know pimp terminology. It is too late now. Also, the pimp’s main hoe is called the bottom bitch. This applies even in cases of male prostitution. Let me stop now).

Gentlemen, or if you are not a gentleman, dude, not being able to cook for yourself makes you a child, not a man. Not being willing to cook for yourself makes you a spoilt and silly child.

Get an onion, a tomato, a knife and an egg, then take charge of your own life.

In fact, don’t just make eggs. Make some tofu and veggies in peanut sauce, an Edamame bok choy rice bowl, some Peking duck and a Caesar salad and invite friends and loved ones to the table. There is honour in feeding others.

Me? I’m out of gas, so invite me over as well. I’ll bring bbrown95.