I cheated on her

Hi there,

This girl and me have a lot of history together. We were each other's first love. It ended pretty bad sadly and she ended up breaking up with me at some point. We've always had a special connection when seeing each other walking somewhere etc and stuff like that.

Anyways, three years have passed, she wrote me a message saying she wanted to be friends again since she is know in a happy relationship, and she noticed that I was as well. I have thought about this girl almost everyday for the past 3 years (and 9 years of knowing her) so ofcourse I wanted to be friends.

After a month we realized we both werent in happy relationships and that we, together, fit really well with our future goals and stuff like that. As in, really well. We couldn't deny much longer that "more than friendship" feelings were coming up again, and she told me she never stopped thinking about me as well. - We realized that that wasn't okay since we're both in relationships so we decided to forget we talked about it and just stay friends, since everytime we stop talking, we'll talk years later because we just can't not be in each other lives. It's a mess.

Anyways, 2 weeks after that, we were being really good as friends till a couple days ago, she told me it was more than that. It has always been more than that. She told me there was a reason why she never stopped thinking about me, after 9 years. I didn't know what to do and had to head home, where I live together with my current partner. We decided to talk about it later, which was yesterday. We talked and talked and talked about everything and noticed getting closer, and even though I was fully aware that I was getting closer, I just couldn't get away. I've loved this girl since the first time I saw her. We kissed. It felt like home and that's what she told me as well.

The problem is obviously.. she is gonna break up with her current partner (she was planning on doing that anyway). But I live together with someone. We didn't buy a house or anything, we're renting it.. but still. I am now 24 by the way, just thought I'd share to understand my current situation. What do I do? I'm obviously gonna have to break up things with my current partner but.. it's just a mess since we live together and build up a life and everything. I really don't know what to do.

Do you blame me for cheating? I've always hated cheaters but it was like I couldn't get away from her grip and I don't know.