I cannot make decisions

I can't for the life of me make even small decisions. While I know that indecisiveness to a degree is normal, I'm not sure if this level of indecision is healthy. I experience intense anxiety when faced with any situation that requires me to make a decision. When my significant other asked me where I wanted to eat lunch, I spent a half hour trying to decide and eventually started crying. I don't know why I have such a hard time with these things. Is this normal?

Is It Normal?
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  • There's an underlying cause. You may need to talk to a therapist to uncover the root to your anxiety.

    I'm no expert, but I normally see this kind of behavior in people who had someone extremely controlling in their life somehow (i.e. parent, partners, friend, etc), who would take over anything and make almost all the desicions, while making you feel incompetent in the process. Not only does it cripple our confidence in desicion making, but makes us super depended on whomever is in control, once that person is gone the other feels helpless or overwhelmed.

    Was there anyone who was very controlling in your life at some point, it doesn't matter how long ago it was?

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    • Yes, there was. I guess that may be it. I have been working on most of the issues it gave me, and I guess this is just one more thing to work through with my therapist. I'm hoping it'll get better.

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      • Don't be so hard on yourself. You're strong for coming out that situation with the capability to still form a relationship, and with sense enough to have a therapist help you heal. You're not a burden to anyone, especially yourself.

        If you want, here's a fun excerise: When you're alone and you have the time and money, explore the different little food shops in your downtown area (if your area is safe), and just randomly check it out and order something that catches your eye and see how you like it.

        Not only is this meant to get out and exploring your town or city, but it's baby steps into help you make your own choices as well as helping figure out what type of flavors you like. Also, since you're alone, you're not pressured to impress anyone (but that's optional, bringing someone is fine), and the clerk won't care as long as they make a sale. If you do try this, I hope it goes well and be safe.

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  • My wife does it to I stop Asking thing like that I thing of to thing so it help her out it works for me

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