I can't tell if i want a relationship or not

11 Comments

Apart of me thinks I want a relationship with someone, as I am often lonely. Another part of me dislikes the idea of going out on dates and trying to seem as appealing as possible to them. What is this?

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Comments ( 11 )
  • ellnell
    3 years ago

    You most likely don't then, you just like the idea of a relationship and getting one because you're lonley is the worst idea ever. Make some friends instead, a partner isn't supposed to be a cure for lonliness that's selfish thinking.
    Be single until the right person comes along, and either learn to enjoy being alone or build a social life. You'll most likely be more interesting to potential partners if you have a life too.

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  • Sanara
    3 years ago

    I can relate. I think if you can't tell if you want a relationship or not you may actually not want it. If you're lonely consider getting a pet (as far as you can reasonably take care of it and do your research) or just make normal friends but that can be difficult too. Starting an activity where you meet up with other people may help, if lock down doesn't prevent that. There is a chance you may be either aromantic, asexual or both, maybe that's why you don't like the thought of actually dating

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  • 1WeirdGuy
    3 years ago

    Just be yourself. It takes too much energy to try to appear more appealing than you are. You want them to like you for you anyway not fake you.

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  • RoseIsabella
    3 years ago

    Have you recently gotten out of a bad relationship?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      3 years ago

      I have, actually.

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      • RoseIsabella
        3 years ago

        Maybe you need to take a break?

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  • S0UNDS_WEIRD
    3 years ago

    There's nothing wrong with going on dates but I've never personally found the idea appealing. Both just wanting a relationship never felt like a good foundation for one.

    I've always just let relationships find me. I've never been rejected, not because I'm super awesome or something, but because I've never asked a woman out prior to it being really obvious we were both extremely into one another and that having just sort of happened to us.

    Have you ever had a relationship?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      3 years ago

      I have. But only with people online.

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      • Mini69
        3 years ago

        On line is not a relationship.

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        • S0UNDS_WEIRD
          3 years ago

          This is a primitive, technology-resistant view that is dying with age.

          I dated a woman online for a year before she moved to live with me. We then lived together for a year. Then she left for another year (with us still dating). Then we lived together for another year after that.

          We felt no more in a relationship the two years living together than the two years that we dated online. The only difference there was at all was that we could touch when living together.

          If your argument is that touching is what uniquely defines a relationship, you're also arguing that someone fucking a complete stranger for sexual pleasure alone is definitively in a relationship with that person regardless of what they claim. I'm sure you can see that's ridiculous.

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          • Mini69
            3 years ago

            I never said touching is what uniquely defines a relationship. A relationship is many things and touch and feel are a part of it but it is so much more. I’m not suggesting you can’t have an in depth online friendship but that alone does not define a relationship.

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