How to stop living for my parents?

5 Comments

I love my parents, they are great people. They gave me the best most secure childhood. However I feel like I have a lot of religious trauma in a sense. I’m married and have been moved out for two years now. Moving out before I got married was a strict no no. My mother told me I should just go to a community college so I did. She tells me not to quit my job so I don’t. She tells me not to have kids till I’m much older so I don’t. I want a tattoo but they think it’s sinful so I don’t. I love my mom but she’s very… a lot of stuff means you’re going to hell to her lol. I’m just curious, does anyone else have slight religious trauma and how have you gotten over it? How do you get passed living your own life and not worrying about disappointing your parents?

Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 5 )
  • olderdude-xx
    2 years ago

    Grow up; and tell your parents that while you appreciate their advice, and will consider it. That it's time for you to make your own decisions.

    Tell them not to be upset, and you still love them. But, you are going to do some things different.

    They will probably respect you a lot.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
  • primrose576239
    2 years ago

    i understand you, can even relate a lot
    my mum is pretty religious and follows a lot of practices and ... extra traditions, and really does expect me to follow them too
    at first i just tagged along, since that was what i had been conditioned to do
    but now that i'm older, i realise that i was never that dedicated to those practices and i wasn't genuinely doing them, so i'm slowly stopping to follow those.
    so what you could do is, take her word and agree when she tells you about them, but do what you feel like doing and when she questions you about it, say something in the lines of "oh the situation wasnt suitable" or "you're right but i think my way would suit this better"
    tbh, it would be hard to satisfy her in every way but maybe taking these small steps would help?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • 1WeirdGuy
    2 years ago

    Religious trauma sounds like another one of the beta male terms that an SJW would say lol.

    But yes I experienced the same thing with my parents telling me what to do. And to this day it hurts my ego because on a lot of things they were right.

    Also look into trade schools. You'll probably make more money with a good trade. Im surprised when I hear how little other people make with a college degree.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • kelili
    2 years ago

    Start doing things that you like, she'll be disgusted at first and then she'll get used to it.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Cable4nerds
    2 years ago

    You can be appreciative and respectful to a fault but at some point you’ve got to live Your life for YOU. What makes you happy and do it for that reason alone. Yes taking your moms opinions into consideration is alright but also being able to let her know why you may have differences and how you still respect her opinions on things but you’re also not a child anymore and need to make your own decisions.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0