How do i tell horny christian that not everyone wants sex all the time?

So I have a horny Christian freind. Who keeps insisting that Jesus wants everyone to find a mate or several and have lots of sex. As an asexual I find this obnoxious. Also, the church has actually always encouraged abstinence or no sex before marriage. Which I am single and not married and don't ever plan to marry. So from a Christian/Catholic point of view I should be able to say it's the Christian thing to do. Than they insisted that priests molest little boys because the church made them vow to not have sex. Which is a fucked up conclusion because pedophiles are not just super horny. Also doctors have said that predators such as serial killers, rapists and molesters have something wrong with them mentally. How do I tell them this in a way they can understand, since Christian speak isn't working and usually it does with Christians. Should I just start talking in only scriptures till they get the point?

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  • It wouldn't surprise me if he's a Sola Scriptura Protestant. Let's see here, try this quote, and see what he says.

    "[1] Now concerning the thing whereof you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
    [2] But for fear of fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

    [7] For I would that all men were even as myself: but every one hath his proper gift from God; one after this manner, and another after that. [8] But I say to the unmarried, and to the widows: It is good for them if they so continue, even as I. [9] But if they do not contain themselves, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to be burnt. [10] But to them that are married, not I but the Lord commandeth, that the wife depart not from her husband."
    - 1 Corinthians 7:1-2,7-10

    If he's Catholic, you could also provide him this quote, from the gloss of the original Douay-Rheims, on the words "By indulgence, not commandment":

    "He declareth plainely that he gaue no rule or precept absolutely therein, but that he spake al the foresaid, condescending to their infimities onely, insinuating that continencie from carnal copulation is much better, and that him self kept it continually."

    Another quote from the same gloss, on "Better to marry":

    "It is better for the said persons that be free, then to be ouerthrowen and fall into fornication. for ,to burne, or ,to be burnt, is not to be tempted onely (as the Protestants thinke that picke quarels easely to marry) but it signifieth to yield to concupiscience either in minde or external worke."

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  • Why are you even engaging with these people?

    I’m asexual as well and my theory is that people who obsessively deny asexuality’s existence do so out of guilt. Either they are legitimately addicted to sex or it has just been impressed on them that sexual attraction is sinful and they long to be free of their real or perceived problem. I think these people you describe fit my theory quite well.

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  • Wtf?

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  • Well if you actually read the old testament... All it says is that you should not be promiscuous before marriage; which is not the same as not having sex.

    Rabbis were required to marry a virgin. No one else was.

    Jesus was of the Jewish faith and he never said that the laws or rules changed....

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    • Having sex would count as being promiscuous. Promiscuous is broadly anything sexual or flirty in nature.

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      • No it would not. Promiscuous is having sex with a lot of other people without any long term relationship (there are variations on what is considered long term).

        Flirting alone is not being promiscuous.

        There are a variety of records from several thousand years ago that make it clear what the meaning in the old testament was considered to be during those time periods.

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  • Just cut this person off entirely! You don't need to associate with, or be friendly with people who annoy, or anger you, and aren't worth your time, and attention. Has this person hit on you, or tried to make sexual advances toward you?

    This friend of yours is giving me bad vibes!I personally think your so-called friend probably has the hots for you, and is trying to convince you of something with which you do not agree. I'm just getting yucky vibes like this person is sexually harassing you, and anyone who would sexually harass you is unworthy of you your time, consideration, energy, friendship, or love! Don't give this person your energy.

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  • Sounds messed up.

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  • There’s little you can say to someone like that. They’re so entrenched in their religious viewpoint that they’ll always rationalize their way out. Just let them be happy in their ignorance and be at peace that you tried.

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    • I mean I can't since they are actively pushing it on me. Harassing me about "Why you not horny all the time, you need to get a partner". When I lash back that they are being lustful and lust is a sin. They back it with "Why are you attacking me". I not sure how to ask to be left alone in a way that makes sense in thier brain. Since all they know is horniness. Should I ask a Church official for assistance?

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      • If they’re annoying you so much, just cut them off. Don’t take their calls on don’t answer the door when they come over.

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  • Sexual repression can lead to deviancy, people used to fetishize even the smallest amount of skin in view on a women due to it (and still happens in some countries) without proper education about sex and making something perfectly natural a sin it can stunt growth and understanding of health sexual relationships. In Japan Hentai (drawn porn often featuring inhuman sex and even depictions of children, which rose from a ban of uncensored pornography), in Afghanistan US backed sAfghan police would rape young boys as they were seen as nothing more than objects (only good thing the Taliban did was execute these monsters though monsters themselves). History has a diverse and ever changing outlook on sexual morality but now we have come to the consensus that consent is all that matters for people of age. When I was 15 I had no idea what I was doing but as I got older and met more women and learnt to communicate it greatly improved my sex life because it's impossible to learn otherwise (porn on the other hand can teach unhealthy ideas of sex and the data doesn't lie, plenty of all faiths viewing it).

    You may be right about the catholic priests, they have similar numbers of amuse as places like education (though the church has notoriously buried many allegations), personally I doubt there is any place in the world celibacy is practiced by communities. even the ones that say they do. from my experience in Lebanon at least, could hardly dance in the nightclubs as all the people were all over each other as it was out of public view.

    I do have sympathy for paedophiles that don't act on their abhorrent urges and hope they are able to get help, many are themselves victims of abuse but once they cross that line though they can be removed from society along with rapists as these are crimes that have absurdly high recidivism and are alongside murder in terms oof harm.

    Abstinence is perfectly respectable to uphold and I respect peoples beliefs, but from puberty young people need to be properly educated about sex because many will experiment and you end up with misguided ideas like the one posted. In the US states with prudish sex education (mainly southern states) have the highest rates of unwanted pregnancies and STDS, sins happen but the damage of this one can be mitigated

    Also s an ex catholic heathen, no I don't want sex all the time. it can be a healthy, fun and meaningful experience even without long term relationship as long as consent and boundaries are respected, can even be great with multiple people, if there is a god she sure made us versatile for that haha I prefer to base my morality on figures from Jesus to Kropotkin oppose to a book written by men over a thousand years ago and translated multiple time which just so happened to reflect the time period.. reading their idea of morality, relationships including sex, I was disappointed by the lack of women having an input in the texts, as a man I learnt a lot about healthy relationships from the women in my life.

    As a Christian, and any grown person they should understand these boundaries and the awfulness of sexual abuse.

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    • What is so meaningful about sex?

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      • What's meaningful about praying? For many it's a way to connect with their belief, sex can be a way to connect with a person. We ascribe meaning and both spiritual and physical connection have different meanings to people, sex is just one expression of that. Of course it can be meaningless, but we can find meaning in many forms.

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        • It's not a way to connect with a person. That is loads of bs.

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          • Well people are different, some people cuddle, others kiss, some serenade their lovers with singing or poetry and bond over their interests. Sex is a pleasurable, bonding, intimate and expresses desire physically, might just not be for you but it isn't BS. JUst because you haven't experienced something doesn't make it bullshit.

            It's not the end all to connection but good sex with a lover is one of the most intimate things you can do with a person, it can be funny, it can be passionate, romantic , erotic and even emotional.

            May not be for everyone but it has brought made deeply connected to the lovers in my life. May be BS to you but maybe you just haven't found the right person or even asexual? there's no problem with that, sex can be meaningless, but surely you have had someone you have loved and want to bring joy to? Or are your ideas based on porn? Honestly feel sorry for you you've never felt such a connection.

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            • "Well people are different, some people cuddle, others kiss, some serenade their lovers with singing or poetry and bond over their interests. Sex is a pleasurable, bonding, intimate and expresses desire physically, might just not be for you but it isn't BS. JUst because you haven't experienced something doesn't make it bullshit".

              Sorry to break it to you, but people only have sex for their pleasure. Not to bond, or any other loads of bs you mentioned.

              "It's not the end all to connection but good sex with a lover is one of the most intimate things you can do with a person, it can be funny, it can be passionate, romantic , erotic and even emotional".

              Yeah, no. It is not the most " intimate" thing you could do with a person. You just love to bullshit.

              "May not be for everyone but it has brought made deeply connected to the lovers in my life. May be BS to you but maybe you just haven't found the right person or even asexual? there's no problem with that, sex can be meaningless, but surely you have had someone you have loved and want to bring joy to? Or are your ideas based on porn? Honestly feel sorry for you you've never felt such a connection

              I feel sorry for you. Instead of you you feel sorry for me, I should be feeling sorry for you. You don't see that sex isn't for love, or bonding like you're trying to say it is. Sex is only so YOU can feel pleasure. That is the only reason why people have sex. It isn't to bond, feel a connection,or for love. And no, there isn't anyons that I wanted to bring joy to. Why does it matter to you in the first place ? And even if there were to be someone I wanted to bring joy to, I wouldn't do that by having sex with them. And to answer your question, no my Ideas isn't based off of porn. I don't watch porn.

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