Getting engaged for attention

50% Normal

I've seen a lot of "engagements" between couples who not only haven't been together long, but they also seem to be more concerned about announcing it on social media and having everyone see it than actually getting married, looking into the future, etc. I also see a lot of teenagers getting "engaged", and can't help but feel that it's just for the sake of proving to the world that they're in a serious relationship. A pattern I've noticed as well is that all of the examples I'm thinking of tend to be attention seeking types in general who feel the need to prove something to others.

I actually had a friend who was constantly getting "engaged" and then breaking it off, and was always not asking, but TELLING her friends we were going to be her bridesmaids. Of course, she did this like 10 times and ended up calling the whole thing off, so it became like The Boy Who Cried Wolf and when she really did want to get married, nobody took her seriously.

I can't help but wonder if this is just a way of seeking attention. Do you think so? Is this a new trend or something? Is this just a new way to show off in the social media age? Or do I just know a lot of really weird people, lol?

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50% Normal

Based on 8 votes (4 yes)

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Comments ( 19 )

SmokeEverything

3 years ago

Social media is toxic because a lot of people use it as a tool to compare themselves to other people, which is not something that ever made anyone happy. People create an online persona to represent them and try to convince everyone else that they're the happiest and most successful.

Like think about it, how many people want to see a picture of your baby or what you ate for lunch that you really need to post it publicly. Most people don't care.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  3 years ago
  
  Yes I agree. It's really unhealthy and a source of a lot of people's insecurity and unhappiness and a lot of people are more concerned with the social media aspect of life events and impressing and one upping other people instead of doing it because it feels right for them.
  
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  - SmokeEverything
    
    3 years ago
    
    Im 31 now and know a bunch of people that got married young. They're all drama and I don't talk to them.
    
    Fuck marriage and engagement in general but the whole "OMG If were a couple on facebook we might as well change it to ENGAGED" thing is annoying. You right. Being online in general has become an unhealthy thing.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      3 years ago
      
      Yeah I really feel that that's exactly what goes through their head lol. Totally agree about the drama part too. I used to be friends with a girl who is not even quite 25 yet and has already been through two divorces and is already jumping into another marriage with a guy she barely knows right after divorcing the last guy, and during her last marriage she was constantly airing her dirty laundry in public about what an asshole her husband at the time was. Including daily posts on FB that were some Jerry Springer TMI shit.
      
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      - SmokeEverything
        
        3 years ago
        
        Yeah that's why I don't use facebook. It's a toxic cesspit of stuff like that. Same thing, why do I want to read long rants about how much somebodys ex sucks?
        
        People who are addicted to drama like that don't normally have anything interesting to talk about.
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        3 years ago
        
        Yep true. I'm rarely on FB anymore except for messenger and a couple of groups I'm in bc it's not very interesting and it's filled with drama. I will occasionally scroll through my feed while in a waiting room and roll my eyes at the dumb shit like these "engagements" and dumb rants.
        
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ellnell

3 years ago

Yeah a lot of young people in their early 20s and even younger get engaged, some when they've been together only a few months... And it doesn't seem to me like their plan is to get married anytime soon. I'm just curious if they were like "let's get engaged!" because I have a hard time seeing a teenager go "will you marry me?" to their girlfriend of barely six months. And of course it never lasts and they break up, with few exceptions who end up getting married possibly after having been engaged for like 10 years. It's kind of childish because they obviously don't understand the point of engagement. If you just want to feel connected or show other people that you are there's those heartshaped necklaces that you can split in half.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  3 years ago
  
  Yeah I think it's mostly about show, especially when social media is involved since it seems that everyone is always competing to have the most perfect life and the most attention on social media.
  
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Tommythecaty

3 years ago

It’s very common amongst young people who want to feel or appear “grown up”

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  3 years ago
  
  That's my thoughts. It seems more about proving a point than anything bc nothing else besides them showing off on social media really screams that they've really thought through engagement or if it's even really what they want.
  
  I mean shit, the last couple I've seen get engaged is an 18yo girl with a 26yo guy and they've barely spent any time together as a couple and the girl seems to be more infatuated with seeking attention from other males than actually invested in her relationship. Something just tells me they're not truly in love and that it's all for show or to prove some stupid point or something. Or possibly financial stability but the guy is broke so I doubt that.
  
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  - Tommythecaty
    
    3 years ago
    
    Yep yep
    
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SkullsNRoses

3 years ago

Finally someone else who sees what I see! I made a very similar post to this one a few years ago when I was 19 about young people getting "engaged" without really considering what marriage means. You can also laugh at how I couldn't spell fiancé back then.

https://www.isitnormal.com/post/iin-to-think-young-engagements-are-stupid--230233

An engagement ring isn't just an accessory and fiancée isn't just a promotion from girlfriend, it should represent a serious commitment after a lot of discussion and planning.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  3 years ago
  
  Yes!!! It just seems like nobody really puts any thought into it and it's more about showing off, proving something, or competing with other people. Sorry but I just don't get the point of getting engaged to someone you've barely spent any time with or of getting engaged so young, esp as a teen. Nobody's life or plans are the same as a teen as when they're in their mid 20s or older.
  
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  - SkullsNRoses
    
    3 years ago
    
    The sooner someone learns to stop competing with other people the happier they will be. Play stupid games win stupid prizes.
    
    Since making my “young engagements” post I’ve seen all manner of relationship ridiculousness and my advice to the unfortunates involved has usually fallen on deaf ears. When it comes to other peoples’ stupid decisions I’ve learned to live by the motto “Not my monkeys, not my circus”. It’s their mistake and ultimately their consequence.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      3 years ago
      
      Great point! I'm just amazed at the stupidity surrounding me lmao
      
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litelander8

3 years ago

I think people can do whatever the fuck they want. 🤷🏾‍♀️

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  3 years ago
  
  Except teenagers under 18 depending on where they live are still children and it's pointless for them to get "engaged" other than to seek attention or try to play grown-up. Not to mention the average span of a teenage relationship is like 2 months.
  
  Another thing is that people like my friend can't just TELL people they're going to be her bridesmaid. Nobody has an obligation, especially when 9/10 times the engagement is fake and going to get called off anyway and people eventually stop believing her bc she's done this so many times. I actually think one of the guys didn't even exist.
  
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Getting engaged for attention