Friend diagnosed with autism but has no traits?

I use to try to go to paychiatrists when I was younger and they would always give me a different diagnosis just depended which doctor I saw. One thing they all agreed on was I needed pills. They got me addicted to things.

I eventually came to the conclusion that whether your autistic or bi polar or adhd doesnt really matter because those are disorders not diseases. Meaning they explain a set of symptoms. But when you read the symptoms for many mental disorders they are very similar. You waste time worrying about which label you are just focus on treatment. He could start with cognitive behavioral therapy for social issues it has the highest success rate.

I have autism and uh, I am the most imaginative person I know.

It’s important to remember that just because someone’s disability isn’t obvious doesn’t mean it isn’t there. Your friend may well be “masking” his autistic traits to appear normal which can actually be exhausting for autistic people to do.

You seem bitter about your friend’s diagnosis and I think you should ask yourself why that is. This may sound odd, but could you possibly be jealous of it? Do you suspect you have undiagnosed autism? You also mention having OCD and noticing some similar traits in him, perhaps you wish he had the same diagnosis as you instead? Or maybe you see his autism diagnosis as doctors side-stepping the issue of his mother’s abuse of him and “making him the problem”?

I really recommend trying to work out why this bothers you so much, but putting labels aside for the moment what’s important is you understanding your friend’s specific nueroatypical quirks and how you can support him.

He sounds just like me pretty much. I’m neurotypical, but I’ve still had lots of people tell me that I’m probably on the spectrum. I actually just have OCD, PTSD and a bunch of other anxiety disorders myself lol.

His background also sounds VERY similar to mine, only his sounds much worse. I was basically a caregiver to my mom too, basically my whole life, I was never starved or put in too much risk of getting physically hurt though. I’m fortunate in that, definitely. I still experienced trauma from it though, so I imagine that he has as well.

He sounds like a very good person to still be taking care of his mom like that, I don’t think that I would take care of someone like that personally. Not after reaching adulthood anyway…but to reiterate what I was trying to get at, I’m neurotypical but I still relate a lot to most of the symptoms you’ve described him as having. No one can diagnose someone online so I won’t attempt that, but I think he might benefit from seeking more professional opinions.

This might sound weird, but have you considered maybe going to a therapy session with him? I’ve had people do this with me a few times and it can be very helpful. Sometimes having someone else there to chime in can help the therapist or psychiatrist get you better. Just an idea

Autism traits vary from person to person and not everyone will have the same ones. It is a very broad thing hence the term 'spectrum'.

Those are definitely traits. He might be more relaxed around you because you've been friends for so long and if it's high functioning autism which I myself have, then it's often not easy to spot as you learn quite young how to mask your issues in public and around your friends. You suffer the consequences alone instead. And you don't need to have every single criteria to get the diagnosis. It's like saying a person with depression can't be depressed because they smile sometimes or are capable of acting fine when out and about.
As for friendships, yeah autistic people often have a hard time making friends especially if you have other conditions like anxiety along with it. But I do have 1 friend with autism who is very social and has plenty of friends. Often we are better at making online friends as it's easier to communicate via text. There is also the diagnosis Atypical Autism which means you don't quite reach the criteria but you're very close to doing so but if he got high functioning then there's probably a good reason. What's most important is he feels the diagnosis explains things for him and that it can help him get the right support. He's the one who knows himself best after all. If he's doubtful he can always ask to get a new evaluation. The thing about high functioning autism though is that it's easy to learn how to appear neurotypical. We study peoples behaviour closely and mimick it. Eventually it leads to burnout because we're surpressing things like the need for stimming and the need for retreat and we're actively playing a role the whole time until we're alone. I do that with my friends, though I don't have any friends i've known for 9+ years nor do I spend so many days with them that it gets unbearable to put on a show.