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Let me know about a fight that you won. Let me get all them details.
I hit a dude with a fat textbook once. It was fun
Assuming this is the same OP that posted this last time I will tell a different story.
Me & my slightly older cousin who served in Iraq where watching a UFC event & every time they went to the ground &/or grappled he would say the typical "I wOuLd BiTe ThEiR bAlLs, I wOuLd RiP tHEiR eYeS oUt" shit that people who never wrestled or did Judo/BJJ in their life would say. I told him about the no rules days of MMA & how people that did that "No RuLeS iN dA sTrEeTs" style martial arts all got their asses beat by sport fighters (even showed him videos of it) Still wouldn't listen to me & even went as far as to say straight to my face that if there was no rules in todays MMA he would be LHW Champion.
Me being a wrestler & blue belt in Judo & BJJ at the time was pissed so I went to the car grabbed my MMA gloves, tossed them in his lap & said "I'll be in the chicken coop". Went down to his coop (which has a fence around it), put all the chickens in the hen house, striped down to my underwear & sat down & waited for him (must have thought I was joking because I sat there for about 20 minutes). He finally comes out to see me in the coop & said "you serious?", told him yes & he put the gloves on.
As for the fight itself:
him: Well get up.
me:[smiling] No. (I know military CQC focuses a lot stand up fighting & I didn't want to give him any advantage)
him: Imma' kick ya' in the face if you don't.
me: Counting on it.
me:[catches leg & go's for toe hold causing him to fall down]
him:[begins barrel rolling until he hits fence]
me:[crawls ontop of him putting knee on his thighs while pinning his neck with my forearm while holding the fence]
him:[tries to poke my eyes]
me:[lean head back out of reach & start punching him in the dick]
him:[rolls to his side so I can't hit his groin giving me his back in the process]
me:[lock in an arm out scarf choke]
him:[tries to bite arm (which is under his chin) like a dumbass]
me: You can't bite what's under your chin dumbass.
him:[starts pulling my hair with both hands until he passes out]
me:[wait for him to wake up] LHW Champion? You can't even beat a fat, autistic, man-child in his shit stained tighty-whiteys.
Bro please one day in a streetfight when you have someone pinned on the ground tickle them. Idk why they never do that in MMA. That would be so humiliating if the guy was pinned and couldnt stop laughing from tickles then hit him again stop tickle hit stop tickle
I did that once at the gym back when I had no idea what to do with 1 of the pros, he was on top of me in full mount. I screamed "DESPERATE MEASURES" reached up, tickled his armpit & said "coochy coochy". He looked like he was trying so hard not to laugh...then he arm-bared me.
Ahahahahaha thats fuckin legendary shit bro
I beat up a guy who owed me money. Not my most intelligent moment.
Guy was a slacker, proper douchebag. Big party boy, but his girlfriend was a good friend of mine. She convinced me to lend him the money.
I lent him 1200 Euro, he did pay back 300 after a month, but he started ignoring my texts, not picking up the phone and avoiding me as much as possible. I did pay him a visit, he had gotten new furniture and a new tv with the money that was for "heating oil for my parents house and roof repairs". He told me his parents didn't have enough money to make it through winter and that's the only reason why I helped... Anyway, I confronted him, his girlfriend (good friend of mine at the time told me to leave and they shut the door on me).
I was angry, 4 months passed - no money returned. On facebook he boasted he got a new Iphone too. He also told people I owed him money... the nerve of this guy! Then I got furious. Got info when he was alone, got into my car one evening, went to his place - beat the shit out of him, took his Iphone and tv and told him I want my money by the end of the week and if he tells anyone about what happened here, I'd put him in hospital for a long time. He did pay back another 500 Euros the next day and then moved and changed his phone number.
I kept the phone and tv, won a fight and lost a friend (his girlfriend said she never wanted to see me again).
But the luckiest break is that he didn't call the police.
This happened in Germany and I could have been in serious trouble. But I was only 24, first proper job, dollar signs in my eyes, ego through the roof, hustlin' on the side, being an idiot and never thought of the consequences.
After I pulled that little stunt it hit me and made me reevaluate a lot of things and taught me to really think before I act.
Never had another fight after that. But should I ever have to result to physical violence again, I'll get someone to do it for me to cover my tracks.
I was in an argument with an acquaintance, because she literally picked up a sick and tried to hit my 6 year old brother (I was 11 at the time, and she had around the same age).
Then we started getting violent, and even though I was unarmed while she had the sick, I manage to violently pull the sick out of her hands and she fell on the ground. After that she ran home (she was phisicaly ok at the end), I let her ran cause I thought that I had already done my job
As soon as she was leaving an adult saw she running and me with the stick in my hands, then she asked what happened and I told her that she was agreeing a 6 year old and that I took the stick out of her hands and she ended up falling (I didn't lied thought, I only removed the parts that where bad for me (basically a lie but ok) )
I got out of the situation "judge was innocent"
I was really trigger happy so this is only one of many fights I had in my life
Me and my mates used to fight a lot. We had a sort of group for it. There wasn't any beef or anything, but we just used to do it for fun, however it was proper fighting. Someone got a broken wrist, another guy lost part of a tooth, etc.
Anyway Me and my mate had a great fight one time to the point where we ended up head butting each other on the ground after we were knackered from beating the shit out of eachother.
First rule of fight club...
Never been in a fight. I never needed to.
I never won or lost fights I am the kind who would keep away from fights.
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