Feeling ghosted by someone who says they're not mean spirited?

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I guess I'll give everyone a back story. November of 2014 I met a guy in a bar in San Francisco, I was visiting from NYC. He gave me his number and we texted for about two weeks and then I just never heard from him again. I was fine with it because he was in CA and I'm in NYC. Fast forward January of 2017 I get a random text from a random number saying "Hi! Remember me?" I was like no who is this..turns out it was San Francisco guy. So between early January and this past Thursday we've texted almost every day and gone on three dates and he said he liked me..and that he just liked me. We went on our last date just last Friday and we had a fun time. He was asked to a project at a fancy hotel in NYC and was planning to stay there for a few nights this week. He invited to come over one night. So early this week I asked if he still wanted me to come and he said his brother is coming over one night how about the next night? I asked if he wanted to see me and he didn't respond for hours and I got impatient and said maybe not..Thanks!

A few days later of no texting, I texted him asking if he was alive and was a little confused as to why we stopped texting. He finally responded three hours later saying this:

To be honest it was your last comment after I didn't respond right away. You make these self- defeating comments all the time and often accusatory to me. Guys like confidence in women just as much as they do in men.

I responded saying:

Hey! Thanks so much for getting back to me and for being so honest. It's been awhile since I've dated someone I've actually liked and it makes me nervous. I completely understand where you're coming from and apologize. I would love to see you again and show you a less stressed side of me if you're free.

That two days ago and no response. I mean I like him and I'm scared I've blown because of past relationships.

The thing is he's told me he's not a mean-spirited person and I didn't get the ghosting vibe from him. My question should I text him in a few days being like Hey! Is everything ok? Or just let this one go... :(

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Based on 4 votes (2 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • barrysbigbeanbag
    7 years ago

    Let it go ,sounds like a jerk!

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  • McBean
    7 years ago

    I'm wondering if he thinks you're a bit of a stalker. Calling you after 3 years makes him sound like a cold call salesman as well. Maybe you're better off with someone new.

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  • RoseIsabella
    6 years ago

    Forget about him. I don't think he's necessarily mean spirited, but take a look at the track record with this guy. You met him in 2014 and he hasn't contacted you until just recently? Sure, ya'll are on different coasts, but it's not normal for someone to not contact someone else for several years after exchanging information.

    I dunno what all it was that he claims you said that turned him off, but if he had tried to communicate with you back and forth via email, phone or text he might not have been so surprised. He's probably just making up an excuse. Either way just forget about him. Still I am curious as to what you said though, but please try not to obsess or ruminate about this guy, because he's not worth it.

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  • RoseIsabella
    6 years ago

    Forget about him.

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  • Butthurts
    7 years ago

    Just let him contact you.

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  • [Old Memory]
    7 years ago

    Let him come to you.

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