Family treats me like garbage

I am aware that everyone has family issues at some point in their lives.. I've been experiencing such toxicity as being neglected as a child and then the neglect never being admitted or talked about. I'm aware I need to cut these poisonous people out of my life.. but it's more like I just don't want to talk to them again like ever. Not even to let them know about why I don't want them in my life anymore. I don't think I could stomach saying I don't want you in my life.. I just want to say and do nothing.

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Comments ( 11 )
  • dirtybirdy

    It doesnt matter if they are family. If they've treated you so poorly, fuck 'em. They don't deserve an explanation. Just move on with your life and be happy.

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  • SmokeEverything

    I'm estranged from most of my family. It's really not that bad.

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  • Boojum

    I suggest that you ask yourself why you should make a grand announcement of your decision, and what could possibly be gained by this.

    If people are truly toxic, telling them that you want nothing more to do with them will only result in them trotting out self-justifying excuses, and then they'll attempt to put all the blame on you and accuse you of being unreasonable or stupid or delusional.

    Once a person becomes an adult, there's no law that requires people to spend time with their relatives, and there's definitely no law that requires you to like, respect or even talk to them.

    It sounds like you have issues that need to be addressed and resolved, but those who were nasty to you don't need to be involved in that process. I can understand how you'd like your views to be listened to and respected, but the fact is that some people just aren't capable to giving you that.

    You've obviously survived whatever was done to you when you were younger and made it to adulthood. You need to figure out how to accept that you had the misfortune to be born into a bad environment, and find the strength to put that phase of your life behind you and move forward. That may well be easier without regular reminders of what you've been through, so you definitely shouldn't feel bad or guilty about cutting the malignancies out of your life.

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    • WhippedCream99

      Thank you. I have accepted them for who they are and what they've done. I've also accepted the suffering I experienced and can't help but be thankful that I have learned so much even through the bad times. You're absolutely right btw.

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  • rocketdave

    I haven't seen any of my family for over three years (my mother's cremation,) they don't even know which continent I'm on. It's better that way.

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  • BlackButler

    Sometimes you have to create a new “family“ and leave them behind. But, don’t rush to anything. Relationships are transactional. Maybe talk to a professional about this one.... this is a hard problem to have. Ate up YEARS of my life. You need support.

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  • Tommythecaty

    Don’t insult garbage you trash

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  • FromTheSouthWeirdMan

    You can cut them out in a subtle way to where no one notices. Just move away and barely ever text back or call. Maybe only talk to them 3 or 4 times a year or less even.

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  • chuy

    Mine dose too...you'll get used to it.

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  • my_life_my_way

    So do it. Save up and get your own place and just don’t give them your new address and don’t talk to them again.

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    • WhippedCream99

      I already live alone, not with them.

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