Family and friends asking why i don't have kids yet

This is a rant.

I'm 36 I was chronically ill for almost 15 years. Bedridden. No enjoyment couldn't watch movies or go out with friends I was just stuck too ill to do anything at all 24/7..

I'm now recovering at 36. I'm in a relationship not engaged but likely. He's 34. My family and friends keep asking me when I'm having kids. I'm not even married yet. They say things like I had kids at 30, I had kids at 25.. I was BEDRIDDEN for 15 years. I never had a life yet why am I not allowed to enjoy myself for the first time in my adult life? Why can't I get out of the house and focus on my own happiness and health before having kids?

My friends have literally said things like why not just have kids before marriage. My mom said I should just do a quick wedding so I can have kids next year. I don't want kids next year and to be honest I don't even know if I want kids anymore.

In the first few years I was bedridden I thought I'll have kids by 30 but after 15 years and only now at 36 going outside the house having kids isn't a priority so why does it matter if or when I have them?? I want to focus on doing things basic things like seeing a movie going to dinner and going on vacation for the first time in a few months. I need to take it slow too so I don't get bedridden again. I don't have the capacity to care for a child at all right now anyway. Why do I have to have kids? I only get one life i lost 15 years so far. I want to enjoy my life

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Comments ( 10 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • Just tell them that the act of having kids will likely kill you. So unless they want to help raise a motherless child, they should shut the fuck up.

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  • From what you're saying, yes, it's normal to not want kids. A good chunk of your youth was spent in bed. Why waste the rest of it taking care of children when you can be out enjoying life? Your friends and family's values do not need to be your values. Do what makes you happy.

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  • I will only have kids when I'm ready for it.

    For now I'm not ready for it as I'm currently wanting to be single for a while.

    Who knows maybe when I get to my 30s I'll be marrying someone and getting children of my own.

    Someday. Just someday.

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  • I never really understood wanting kids. It seems like such an irresponsible thing to do unless you have mastered life 100% which no one has.

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  • Don’t have kids.

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    • God you give terrible advice. The proper advice is 'if you're non-White (including jewish) or a FAGGOT, don't have kids'.
      >inb4 you're heckin' obsessed!

      No. Your comments are beyond retarded and I feel it's my duty to tell you and to encourage you to improve. Simple as.

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  • its normal but tell your husband so he can leave your asshole.

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  • Tell your family to stop being so insensitive.

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